The one with the bad luck
by Escritora submarina
Summary: Aihara Kotoko regrets that things didn't happened as she would have liked them, but that is why she should not let herself fall down because of the pain that Irie Naoki made her go through ...
1. Chapter 1

**"The one with bad luck" **

_Why?_ She wondered, walking along the threshold of the night where the moon gave her the little lighting she provided to see the way back._ Why do I always have such bad luck?_ She lamented hearing herself say with her voice cut.

Lately the things in her life had not happened as she would have liked, and more than anything for that someone she was in love with since the first year of high school; the inconstant persecutions, the futile attempts to get his attention, the innumerable love rivals to obtain the affections of the unmentioned aforementioned that broke her heart into little pieces. That mean and ruthless man who played with her feelings to just discard her and set it aside as if it were any garment.

The named Irie Naoki.

It was love at first sight, the typical cliche that all the girls fell once they had seen him, and with that, it was enough to fall at his feet; like her, she fell before his presence, which she considered the principle of the abyss.

Her life became an abyss since she tried to conquer his cold heart, trying countless times to open that hard shell that protected him from the world. She tried in a thousand ways, with the best disposition to listen to him and understand him in what she could do to make him feel accompanied, but not once could she remove the multiple barriers that made up the well-known Irie Naoki.

Just remembering his name, she felt a chill surrounding her spine.

She walked the streets of Tokyo, Japan, looking for some way to discard the plan that prevented her from continuing with her life as if nothing had happened; she watched people laugh, dance, drink, kiss, etc. Everything but crying, except her.

The tears that came out of her eyes, decayed to pitchers expressing her immense pain and immense disappointment with life, the moments that time took away the vision of being able to enjoy them, loves that could have experienced without hesitation, new friends to pass the occasion, details that set the standard that one uses in life to improve.

She realized that her lifestyle was a lousy habit for her to endure, but above all to stop doing it.

In itself, she wasn't the smartest person in the bunch, nor the most attractive, much less tall of great attributes, she did not attract the other boys for being considered childish, she was not talented either, so she had no afternoon activities. To simply put it, she was a completely useless one, who was in love with an impossible.

Pathetic, that is how she felt when she learned that he had committed himself to another woman and that she was proposed by a friend who loved his company so much, but she didn't love him romantically. She hurt her best friend's feelings out of spite, not because she was trying to hurt him so she left him with a broken heart, just like her. They both hurt for different people, but for the same reasons they had to feel the way they felt.

Now that she was completely alone, hurt, but alone at last, she didn't know well what to do with her life, since she always hoped he would fall in love with her similarly, she was also a person without self-worth, submissive. The fool, which he always told her. He never stopped fooling her around! He always considered her one, because it was true. She was a fool.

She ran into a place that managed to fulfill its main objective: to attract the attention of the people passing by.

She got in, crestfallen and with tears still coming out of her eyes until they fell from her cheeks. The subordinates did not give importance to her situation, so she didn't feel at least uncomfortable, so she took a seat in the cafeteria 'Akemi'. The armchairs were crimson red like soft mattresses armchairs, a bar where the barista prepared the coffee of your choice, the sober atmosphere involuntarily prompted the tranquility that she wanted so much to find.

She asked for a hot latte (although she didn't consider herself a person who drank coffee, so she chose to consume a little of the amount of things they offered her), despite having had enough and very good dinner in the company of Kin-chan, the man who she hurt of spite. The rain was not coming yet, so she decided to stay there during the time when her tears stopped coming out and her calm finally settled on her features.

Her sad countenance matched her sad sorrow, where before she thought she saw joy there was always sadness insider her.

A handsome, well-groomed waiter brought her coffee to her table, giving her a warm smile, to which she responded with another sad smile. She wasn't in the mood to smile or hide joy when in broad strokes there was none.

Her cell phone vibrated from her blue pants that reached her above the ankles, as they were in the spring season and the intense heat did not reach the city of Tokyo. She took it out and saw that the call came from her father. She sighed dejectedly. Surely her father was worried about not hearing about her whereabouts. She diverted the call, because she was in no mood to deal with more problems. Her cell phone vibrated again, but this time the call did not come from her father, but from Oba-sama, her supposed mother-in-law.

She took a sip of the coffee, opting to see the surrounding of the cafeteria. The subtlety of the lights gave her some calm, something she had not had for a long time.

Raindrops began to sprout from the darkened sky, which reminded her that an umbrella was not brought with her for any eventuality; she remembered harshly that she was a useless person with life and was not able to face the simplest obstacles that the weather imposed on her. She sighed again, running her fingers over her reddish hair, moving her hair to forget those painful moments she longed to leave.

If only we could forget the pain just by shaking the head, how many times she would have done that already!

The rain in front of her eyes symbolized her inner pain, the lack of confidence in the insults that Irie told her every time he saw her. He always looked down on her as the worst person approaching him, when he watched her he could feel the contempt that he was very clear about, when he was supposed to love her? He should, right?

No, he shouldn't love her, if he didn't even respect her as a woman, worse, as one more person in the population. What could she expect from him? A hug? A kiss? Marriage? If she only received insults, humiliations, derogatory teasing, etc. At first she saw it as normal, but over time the contempt became constant reminders that she was not a woman worth fitting for, and how? If she didn't value herself. How to love her as she corresponded?

Why was she always the one with bad luck? When her intentions were good, her actions not so much, but she was an innocent and well intentioned woman.

Why did she have such bad luck? Why did she have such a bad taste in men? Pathetic, she reminded herself fervently, she was too pathetic that even he was considered to tell her on more than one occasion.

If she thanked him for knowing her, for reminding her how little value she had of herself and how much self-loved she lacked; made her see her thousand of mistakes, her bad actions of spying on him, how childish she dressed and behaved, how silly she was for studying, how immature she could become when she saw him with another woman, all the things that came out lousy, all that he reminded her and more!

That dump of mixed feelings provoked anger at herself or how ridiculous she was in wanting to conquer an impossible, a man devoid of touch with things. When he told herself years ago: "I hate stupid girls"

She finished the coffee cup with a resounding blow on the table, causing one or another customer to fix his eyes on her, which she ignored. She was very upset with herself for being so pathetic as to do fun things with her free time. No, sir, she no longer trusted being able to be the same again when he didn't want her that way, she couldn't go back in time and there was no way to make it a possibility. No, she would not return to the past but to remember her childhood, and the other moments she lived before she met him…

Was she a woman with bad luck? Yes, but she would change it to be happy without his love.

Why did she have to have back luck? Because she allowed herself to have that luck.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** New story on the go! What do you think? It's a little different of my other stories but I wanted to give it a try and see where it takes me.


	2. Chapter 2

**"The girl who believed in fairy tales (part 1)"**

The night brought with it the results that led to bad decisions she eventually made, and although she was aware of Naoki's business, she did not give her arm to twist with the truth.

The ravages of her broken heart had left her empty and dry of everything.

The smiles, the illusions, the spring cherry tress, vanished with the love she wore on her forehead with Irie's name on it. He proved not to love her, just as he also showed that there are no smiles on his static face, other than indifference.

The cup of coffee of the 'Akemi' cafeteria was finished, as were the illusions ser in Naoki.

She sighed in a daze, recovering the upright posture that hurt her back, if what she lived recently hadn't been enough, things were not going in her favor; it was clear that good luck was not on her side.

The handsome employee with long, straight black hair approached her wearing a distressed expression.

"Excuse me" He said. "But we're going to close the cafeteria"

Kotoko looked at him even more distressed, letting her shoulders fall towards the ground like a hopeless like a hopeless gesture.

"Don't worry!" The employee repaired, waving his hands in alarm. "The owner can provide you a room right here"

When he saw Kotoko's confused expression, he explained:

"I know it's not of my business, but I can't leave people who are clearly suffering alone, so I'm going to help you"

"It's not necessary!" She exclaimed bewildered.

"I insist" He denied stubbornly. "You need help, the owner will let you stay one night, I swear!"

"But…" She didn't finish the sentence without seeing that the employee ran towards a youthful and energetic woman with straight brown hair up to the waist tied in a ponytail well combined with her chic fifties attire.

She saw the supposed exchange, coloring her nerves, her heart broken and the lump in her throat increasing.

She didn't know who that guy was who offered to help her, but he seemed to be a good person, so she took it easy.

He returned in the company of the girl who called herself the owner of the local.

"Hello" She greeted politely. The two nodded. "Young Kamogari, is very distressed by your mental state, it seems that you have been through a strong event and you need a place to spend the night"

Kotoko was speechless, her face paused.

"Don't feel rushed for the money or anything like that" She dissuaded carelessly. "I'll let you spend the night here, my name is Kazuki Hanako" She introduced herself with a nod before extending her hand in an act of presence, meaning that she accept her.

She nodded and corresponded to the gesture, feeling a weight that burned her to the gut.

"Aihara Kotoko"

The bad luck dissipated with that polite gesture that took her out of the mess that subjected her to the pain Naoki left her.

.

.

.

.

**P.S. **New chapter update! Glad to see your reviews and yes, I will continue with the story although at first it was intended to be a one-shot and not a long story, but I decided to give it continuity and see where it takes me. You can leave your reviews, if not, you can simply enjoy the story. Thank you.


	3. Chapter 3

**"The girl who believed in fairly tales (part 2)"**

The room they had lent her was located on the second floor of the premises of the place, it was somewhat unexpected, because the place had no facade of being two in one. In short, it didn't carry the appearance of extra space.

The place Kazuki lent her looked comfortable but was not a large space like the one Mrs. Irie had her used to; she hit her head as she remembered the subject. If she wanted to evolve and avoid pain, she needed to se for her because of he old experiences another house that wasn't originally hers.

She walked in socks (colored pink with plush) since the room consisted of a beige carpet floor of pieces of cloth coming out of the carpet, a dark gray sleeping bag not very large—perfect for her measure— a change of clothes for the next day accommodated in the airea where she would sleep, and the color of the room was pale yellow.

It was a simple room, relatively nothing extraordinary to see. But that did not subtract how comfortable it was.

She lay down on the camp bed, accommodating the blankets that Kazuki kindly offered her, waiting for the sleep to come to her to rest.

It had been a heavy day, one for everyone around herm but especially for her. Despite having seen it coming, she dit not give up on a gram of hope in Irie, which unfortunately failed her.

She could reflect on it; he didn't failed her, se failed herself. There was no other explanation for he problem.

She failed to put her hopes that Irie could loved her, but after loving her, what would come? Love? Happiness? She was afraid to think about the future next to Irie, due to his cold and hostile behavior towards her, so she would not enjoy a happy life.

Although she could be her own happiness, right? It didn't sound so bad, but doing so would cost a lot of work. Starting to stop thinking about that man and the pain that his image carried in her memory.

And if she recapitulated the events she lived by his side, not even a moment did he treat her well, he also didn't give her things (not necessarily material things), he didn't tell her nice things, he drove her away like a plague, etc. So what was the origin of so much suffering? The origin of the attraction… she sighed with shrug, overwhelmed at the thought of seeing those four walls locked in the bedroom.

A presence appeared in the room, knocking the white wooden door with the knuckles. She turned to see who it was: Kazuki.

"Can I come in?" She asked, holding a glass of milk in his hand. Kotoko nodded, taken off guard. She quickly sat down improving her posture so she could see her better.

"Em." She hesitated to speak clearly, so she cleared his throat before continuing. "Thank you for letting me stay here."

Kazuki saw her sideways as she sat down with her legs crisscrossed on the carpet; she offered her a glass of milk with the intention of making her feel better.

"You don't have to apologize." She shook his head, raising her hand in selfless manner. "We've already hosted several of our clients for reasons of having a broken heart." She raised her eyebrows and then lowered them. "Go ahead, drink the milk, it will make you feel better." She smiled, bending her knees to her chest, nodding on her knees.

"Yes, thank you." She excused himself as she took a small sip of the glass of milk with discretion.

"Don't be so modest." She laughed nervously, clenching her lower lip. "At least tell me the reason you didn't want to go home."

Kotoko stopped the action, partly paralyzed for remembering the reason for not wanting to return home. And as always, the reason was him.

Her gaze saddened.

"It's for love, right?" Kazuki asked, sounding interested.

She nodded quietly.

"Well, Aihara-san," she said her name meaning she was trying to help her, but the damage was already done. There was no remedy for her problem.

"Kotoko," she corrected. Kazuki stopped with a blank face, which Kotoko repaired with the red cheeks of shame. "Tell me Kotoko, please."

"Kotoko," she clarified, nodding in agreement. "I know you feel that it is the end of the world and that everything seems dark, but not everything is lost." She smiled shyly. "If it bothered you that Kamogari wanted to help you, he did not mean it, he is not able to put aside people who need help, he likes to help others," she said tenaciously.

Kotoko just watched her feeling the worst kind of person that could exist in the entire universe. Always causing others to worry about her no matter how much that was not her original intention.

Those were the ravages with the ones she carried on her back at all hours.

"Kamogari?" She asked quietly, leaving the glass of milk on the carpet.

"Yes, Kamogari Keita," she intercepted, shaking her head in assent, smiling. "He is one of our employees, is a nursing student and he is barely in the first year, he also works part-time in the company of one of his university classmate" She stood up as if she was remembering something. "He's single, in case you wonder about his current status."

"No!" Kotoko denied alarmed, shaking her head from side to side. "I'm not interested"

"I was kidding," Kazuki replied in a good way. "Just kidding"

"Oh, yes, well," She stumbled in her own words, adding that she began by feeling incompetent again.

Kazuki looked at her with analysis, waiting for her some other reaction that would mean the reason for her saddened look that was clearly reflected in her red eyes from so much crying before.

"I ..." Her voice broke, threatening to close her throat.

"I understand," She frowned as a sign of beginning to understand her. "You suffered a lot for love, haven't you?"

Kotoko nodded with crystal eyes.

"Crying helps you feel better," She replied.

"It's not that!" She burst into tears, letting tears take the course of her emotions. "It doesn't help me feel better."

"This person has hurt you, from what I see," She supposed, putting a finger under her chin.

"I'm always the one with bad luck!" She expressed hurt. "It's all my fault for being so dumb." She covered her eyes with her hands, broken.

"Kotoko, let it out," Kazuki said in a soft voice. "It's not that you have bad luck, it's your decisions that are bad," she advised, rubbing her red hair in comfort from her pain. "Even though I don't know you more than your name, I know you've been through a lot of pain to get to where you are now, and something that led you here to reflect and let the pain of your heart go to heal" Kotoko let escape a sob. "This is not the end, but the beginning of your new life." She patted him on the shoulder as comfort. "That guy who broke your heart doesn't deserve your love or your tears."

_It is true_, she thought, once calming her tears between sobs and tears that were stopping like showers in a darkened sky.

She had no bad luck, but her decisions had been bad, so she made the decision not to fall back into her past mistakes, those of which so much pain had caused her until that day.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** What do you think? I read your reviews and thank you so much for your support and opinions related to the story. I hope you like the structure of the plot because it needs polishing, anyways, enjoy reading it.


	4. Chapter 4

**"The boy who saves lives"**

The morning with its magic woke her from her long and lethargic dream in which she plunged after crying the previous night. The sun's rays lit the windows of the cafeteria 'Akemi' with its enlightened virtues sprouted like drops of gold when the raindrops of the storm last night combined with the sun.

She drank a latte in the company of a few pancakes with butter and maple syrup on top, while watching the time go by.

She had taken a hot shower that morning after waking rested, and curiously, renewed.

Oguro Tomoko (Kamogari Keita's friend) was one of the cafeteria cooks. A very pretty girl from physical appearance, a trait that could be said as attractive to any man who noticed and angel made in person, however that didn't prevent her from being a visceral woman as far as the bodies were concerned.

When Kotoko saw her, she paled (product of the horror of seeing how admiring she cut the freshly caught fish from the distributors).

Once she finished her breakfast, the sun's rays intensified as the morning minutes passed almost unnoticed, welcoming her at noon; being honest, she had no idea how to face her family and friend in a situation like the one she lived before.

Life had been complicated, a difficult stretch to move towards the goal that eventually faced from view until it passed imperceptibly to the human eye.

Impossible would not be the correct term for the type of life she lived or the decision she recently proposed, making it clear that she would not pursue Irie Naoki anymore because that goal ceased to be a goal worthy of reaching. A goal that would bring her happiness at every step she took, the true mark she so longed to feel to be a useful and independent woman.

The coffee was over, opting to arm herself with courage to face her family as soon as possible, because if not, they would regret it and could not move forward. If what she wanted was to move forward, not for back.

"I see you woke up in a better mood" Kazuki appeared in front of her range of vision. "I'm glad" She winked at the kitchen.

Kazuki wore another retro dress of the fifties with flowers on the skirt that resembled a pattern of red flowers distilled in a panel of colors of different shades of green, combined with the blouse that was attached to the upper area of the body stylizing the figure feminine, like wearing a high ponytail to let long hair do its wave function.

She nodded carefully. She still didn't get used to the atmosphere of the place, because last night she made a shameful scene with her hurting attitude and altho she was not a useful person she did not consider that she left the best impression she left with the Kamogari boy, so she decided to wait for him when he arrived at work.

While she waited for Kamogari, she chose to clean the tables that the clients were leaving empty, she also attended one or another client that the waiters could not attend and she being free, could help.

She realized that she was not the useless that everyone believed of her, but a person capable of doing simple things like taking orders and cleaning tables, but things at last.

She wasn't the fool that Irie told her, that he rubbed it in her face that she was one.

As she smiled at the thought she was assimilating little by little, he arrived.

The handsome employee with long black hair and crowded complexion. He entered with his nurse uniform, with a crimson red sun cap covering part of his calm face.

Kotoko felt gratitude because that boy had been her savior, since he helped her at the worst moment of her life and just by having offered to help her was enough to leave her in a state of infinite gratitude.

The boy named 'Kamogari Keita' noticed her a few minuted after entering the cafeteria. He deposited his red backpack he carried firmly, giving a slight nod to Kotoko.

"Hello" He greeted courteously, his arms hanging at his sides. "I see you're in a better state compared to last night" She nodded.

"Thank you" Kotoko stood up with a respectful bow, showing her total gratitude for her action. "Thank you very much" She clarified, raising her voice.

"You don't have to feel guilty or in debt to me" Keita said, waving his arms in alarm at chest level as if on guard. "I did it because I couldn't leave someone who clearly needed help alone" He stopped, recovering the alarmed posture to a quiet one. "It's that, only" He frowned.

"I see…" She said in a voice, looking carefully and somewhat shyly at the serious and hard face of Kamogari, who seemed not to be someone who hesitated to do things.

"Your name, please" He asked to know urgently. "I want to know your name"

Kotoko escaped a slight blush on her cheeks, curiously it turned out to be a strange action to her person, but it didn't hurt to leave it aside.

"Aihara Kotoko." She replied softly, lowering her head.

"Kamogari Keita," he said with content extending his hand as a sign of accepting it, or welcoming it, or for whatever reason. "Nice to meet you, Kotoko."

She immediately blushed when she heard him say 'Kotoko' and not 'Aihara-san' and although it didn't bother her to be called that, her first name carried autonomous value towards her person.

She extended her hand corresponding to Kamogari's gesture, which didn't look so bad after all, on the contrary, he wasn't that bad.

"Yes." She agreed formally extending her hand, feeling the warmth of her palm when she got in touch with his palm (she didn't deny that it was intense contact for such a short time to meet).

"I hope I haven't been a nuisance in offering you my help," he confessed, freeing himself from physical contact, bringing his hand to the back of his neck; sorry. "But I wouldn't have been calm if I didn't help you in any way, and I apologize if my intervention was an impediment for you to get home."

"No," Kotoko exclaimed in alarm, holding him back. "On the contrary, I didn't want to go home." Keita was stunned.

"Oh really?"

"Yes." He nodded.

"So my intervention was beneficial?" He asked expectorant.

She nodded intimidated with the change in behavior so suddenly she taught.

"It's good to know," he said pleasantly. "I hope I can be of help on another occasion, but for now I only tell you that it is nice to meet you, Aihara Kotoko." He smiled knightly, lowering his cap from his place in assent. "And another thing." He stopped as if remembering something. "Don't feel indebted to me, because I did it because I wanted to, not because I felt compelled to do it," He clarified before retreating to the kitchen in order to get the waiter's uniform in shape.

Kotoko felt that perhaps that boy was not so bad, referring to the issue that he was not considered an ugly man, but handsome and very attentive in relation to his situation, from which he gave him the help he needed at that time.

In any case, she deduced that the overcoming she would have with Irie would be simple if she had a young man like Kamogari Keita by her side.

.

.

.

.

**P.S. **What do you think of the chapter? I don't know if you are in favor of KeitaxKotoko pairing, or just the NaokixKotoko pairing, so I'm doing it generally for now. Let's see what happens next. I also like your comments, thank you for your support and for following the story since the first chapter, I am grateful for it.


	5. Chapter 5

**"Facing is equal to growing"**

Kotoko decided to go home even when doubt and guilt made her feel bulky and thad didn't mean things would go easily. Her clumsiness would lead her to disaster.

In any case, she wanted to make her new goal clear, not because she felt indebted to the Irie, but because the moment of detaching herself from the bond she had with that family deserved to be independent.

It was a very hurried decision, especially in the case of her, but that was not why she had to stop when she was very clear about what she wanted to do, and if that meant having to part from her beloved 'Oba-sama' she would.

When she finished cleaning the table twenty-two (where some university customers ate hamburgers), she put together the plates and glasses to go to the kitchen.

Once there, she told Kazuki that she would resolve the conflict with those linked to her situation, denoting that she was not sure where she would live when she left the house she loved so much for such a good attention and beautiful memories in relation to Oba-sama —her almost mother—. Kazuki denied all triviality on her part, offering to giver her a job right there and temporarily staying upstairs with her.

"I don't think it's right, I'm sorry if I take too many liberties, if I barely know you" She shook her head from top to bottom.

"Let's put that aside" Kazuki stopped her by holding both hands on her erected shoulders, trying to calm her down. "I really offer to give you a living here, in exchange that you work here in the cafeteria" She gave her an accurate look.

Kotoko tried to look away at the ceiling avoiding the suggestion for what was a matter of seconds in which she had to think.

"It's just that" Kazuki said dismissively.

In that, Kotoko reacted, and without much preamble she looked down at Kazuki's height, accepting the treatment she offered.

Both girls jumped in joy smiling from ear to ear the same way they enjoyed their new friendship; in that, Kamogari Keita made his appearance in front of both girls wearing a serious gesture as straight as his stubborn and determined personality seemed to be.

"Kamogari" Kazuki patted his shoulder in a friendly manner, without tipping the smile from her face. "Aihara-san will stay to work with us" She announced in a good mood.

Kotoko observed that Keita's serious gesture vanished, welcoming a good-natured smile that expressed his pleasure in knowing that his intervention had a pleasant surprise.

"I'm glad, Kotoko" He ducked his head in a slight bow, but not before resting his right hand on Kotoko's shoulder in acceptance. "I hope you can improve yourself and find your way"

Find your way, that term was what she was looking for without understanding it in broad strokes, without anticipating what it was called, and without feeling it as it was supposed to be.

Finding her way, that was what she longed to have in her hands and count it as an achievement, or rather, her first great achievement in life.

"Well, Aihara-san" Kazuki interrupted the atmosphere that barely settled in both "Its time to face your family and settle accounts with your past" it seemed more of a statement than a few words of help. You could tell that Kazuki was not the typical girl who was gentle with words, but a tenacious woman with words.

"You know I'll wait for you here" She winked, nodding.

"Me too" Keith added heroically. "I want to wait for you" He reaffirmed, shaking his head high.

Kotoko's broken heart repaired dry, as if she had woken up after a soporific dream that was beating in vain to provide oxygen to the brain and the res of the body, but not to arouse contradictory sensations in her. Sensations she had not felt with Naoki.

For a moment she felt strange to her body, it seemed that the sensation was eating her head that was already tired of dealing with problems, but… she stopped. Was Keita a problem? No, on the contrary, his help was the best event that could have happened to her in months. What she had to feel for him was gratefulness and high respect for the intervention he did just by talking.

"Go ahread, Kotoko" Kazuki pushed her to the entrance door of the place where she had not expected to find in less than twenty-four hours. What she found was treasure of people worthing gold, worth more than Naoki and that was saying something.

She dismissed her new acquaintances by waving her hand in a friendly manner and with a small smile, she vanished from the streets of the district towards the house of the Irie's.

The decisive moment was yet to be seen.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** What do you think of the chapter? I hope you liked it, if not to improve the plot because it seems that I am going very slow and at the same time very fast, but hey, it is a matter of criteria. I appreciate your comments for being so motivating for me and to answer my question about which pairing do you prefer: KotokoxKeita or KotokoxNaoki. I could say that I'm a bit of both, because in "The songs that define our love" I like the Naoki I've written, but the Naoki in the manga/anime is very mean to Kotoko, and in the manga/anime I wanted her to end up with Keita, so yes, I like her better with Keita because he was much more worthy of her than Naoki, who didn't demonstrated his love to her even on drastic times he did it almost half heartily.

Well, it's a matter of opinions, so I could say that Keita is better, what do you think about it?

Would you like for Kotoko to end up with Keita or with Naoki?


	6. Chapter 6

**"The power you have over me"**

She recalled with emphasis the words Keita said when she left for her home 'I want to wait for you' resonated constantly in the elucidations of her mind, which suffered from the insults and humiliations of Naoki.

Like the few occasions when Naoki was kind to her, she deduced that perhaps there was something good about him, even if it was little and went unnoticed, but nevertheless, she would not leave it aside.

The power that Naoki had in her life was immense, or rather, the power he exercised in the directive of her center was the conclusion that her life was not well planned, and therefore, she now live it with a choked pain in her chest making a huge effort to repair the damage she caused by her immaturity.

And it was curious, now that she thought about it in the subway seat where she was sitting with her legs resting on the edge of the floor, her hands lying on her lap, and her red hair fell hugely behind her shoulder to the middle waist. She wore a garment that Kazuki lent her that morning, so she was wearing a retro dress from the sixties with huge pink patterns on the edges of the circular skirt, the color of the fabric was white, just like a wedding dress.

The dress that Sahoko Oizumi would soon wear on her wedding day with Naoki; on the one hand, that should be her position, but on the other, that place was never hers. It never belong to her properly.

She dropped her shoulders in a dejected gesture, sighing slightly the surge of sensations that poured into her heart like punctures that pulsed energy that mixed between being positive or negative. Among which one was correct? Be positive of negative?

Again the phrase 'I want to wait for you' rumbled in her ears venturing into the connections that her thoughts instinctively produced.

Someone wanted to wait for her, someone besides her father and Oba-sama were waiting for her. That indicated that maybe she was required or needed for being a useful person, as well as kind and well-meaning.

She smiled to herself on the way back, raising her chin to cheer herself up when no one ever cheered to her before, when before she wasn't able to love herself.

* * *

Never before has the road to the Irie's house turned out to be so fast; Kotoko had been walking for fifteen minutes shortly, feeling the shaking of her red hair stir at the speed of the wind, while her retro dress was moving in the same way.

_You can do it, Kotoko_, she said to herself as the house of the Irie got bigger with every step she took. Her breathing became slow, but deep.

She was already two steps to get there, when she stopped once her feet touched the stairs at the entrance of the house and the world seemed to go over her. A sudden dizziness struck her.

It was said that that was not a dizziness precisely, but the fear of facing the Irie family, telling him: the man who broke her heart. That cruel and ruthless man that only made fun of her every time he saw her, but that crude tale was about to end.

That dizziness wanted to convince her to come back and not face the situation, no matter how much resistance she put, however, she took the necessary steps to face the doorbell of the house and the large white door that gave the entrance to the solution.

She inhaled deeply to inflate her small chest and knocked on the door.

What were a few seconds from that moment, it was eternal for her to advance time.

Mrs. Irie opened the door, recognizing her instantly.

"Kotoko-chan!" She shouted in overflowing concern, opening her arms in the air, exclaiming intelligible onomatopoeias resulting from the impression she had when she saw Kotoko. "We thought something had happened to you" She said once calming down and giving her several hugs in a row.

Kotoko stood firm, or rather, static before the overflowing signs of love that her beloved Oba-sama showed without shame. She acknowledged that now that she came with an open mind, direct to deal with the problem, the behavior she had with Naoki was the worst. Excessive signs of affection, shouting, stalking, and so on. They were horrifying and unworthy acts of a woman to do them.

"No" She denied taking off her shoes and making her way to the Irie's living room. There were Yuuki, Oji-san and him.

"Where did you spend the night, Kotoko-chan?" Oba-sama demanded to know, following her like a shadow.

"It's not relevant" She replied stubbornly.

She saw him, sitting on the couch where he was always prostrated to read in the afternoon, wearing tight-fitting jeans, a white short-sleeved polo shirt and three lines at the top of the pale pink polo shirt, wearing his characteristic frown that meant nothing mattered to him.

Oji-san greeted her politely, not as worried as Oba-sama but she did noticed the clear signs that he didn't have a good night; Yuuki, one the other hand, looked calm but attentive at her presence, he seemed to want to tell her something else but he was not armed with courage to do so, so Kotoko didn't want to interfere in that detail, perhaps of vital importance.

"How is that not relevant?" Oba-sama demanded by issuing a histrionic shriek.

"It isn't" Kotoko shook her head, raising her voice. "I…I'm coming for something else" She clarified, giving Naoki a fixed look, who apparently didn't raise his head with the intention of seeing her, moreover, he looked tired now that she saw him up close.

Dark circles fell from his eyelids, his hair always flawless did not look that way, now it looked without combing.

She had never seen him like this.

"What are you coming from?" Oba-sama questioned somewhat, or rather, quite worried about her attitude. "Kotoko-chan, Onii-chan returned last night drenched from the subway station, he was looking for you!"

He was looking for her? Him?

Impossible!

It seemed unusual for that ice brick to have feelings after two years of living together.

"Mother" Naoki raised his head indignantly. "Don't say irrelevant things"

"But, Onii-chan!" Exclaimed his mother stubbornly.

"That's not for you to deal" Naoki said getting up from the sofa, finally looking at Kotoko. "It's my business" He said possessively.

Kotoko watched him shocked, not anticipating his sudden change in attitude, which, like her, was different from normal.

"If you'll excuse me" He took Kotoko by the hand in an impulsive act and ran out of the Irie's house.

She heard in the distance the cries of Oba-sama, the surprised sigh emitted by Yuuki and silence impregnated from Oji-san.

Naoki's transitory strides were as fast as she remembered them, the sounds of his deep breathing when he exercised tennis, the smell of his lotion the few timed she touch it, his well-formed back expanded with his chest expanding to be able to breathe properly.

Despite having her decision clear, Naoki remained attractive.

He still had that power over her.

Suddenly, Naoki stopped on the sidewalk to some streets of her father's restaurant, without letting go of Kotoko's hand, giving the impression that he refused to do so.

For her, Naoki did not behave as he used to, at the contrary, he was different. Changed.

"Kotoko" He turned to see her, in a serious tone, catching his breath. "Are you going to marry him?" He asked awkwardly, opening his mouth to inhale oxygen to his chest.

"Him?" She repeated incredulously, raising an eyebrow.

Naoki was very strange.

"Ikezawa" He pointed out with disdain, giving a slight squeeze in her hand in protective instinct.

"That doesn't concern you!" She said defensively, stepping back.

"I asked you a question, Kotoko" He said, losing his composure (something weird about him) "And you didn't answer it" He approached her face, exhaling the air from his half-open mouth. "Tell me, Kotoko, will you marry him?"

She bit her lower lip, doubtful with Naoki's attitude, if that boy who really lost his composure was Naoki, or a replacement of him.

"Does it bother you that someone else wants me?" This time it was Kotoko's turn to attack him. "Or is it that I can't be happy with someone who does value me?"

"Answer my question"

"No, you answer mine!" She exclaimed stubbornly. "You always make fun of me, Irie-kun, I'm tired of it! Tired of your abuse and humiliation! And now that I can be happy you stop it" The lump of her throat bulged with every word she emitted.

"You are not going to be happy with him!" He pointed disdainfully, also raising his voice aberrantly. "Because you only love me" He declared possessively, clasping his nose to hers so that his eyes widened as she watched Naoki's closely. "You can't love another man other than me"

What did that mean?

Did Naoki hint that he loved her?

Their faces unconsciously approached, to the edge of their mouths… what would Kotoko do? Would she let him kiss her? And where was her decision?

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** What do you think? Naoki was intense in this chapter, what is going to happen now? Will Kotoko let him kiss her?

I hope and has been to your liking the progress I am giving to the plot, although who knows what may happen. If you have suggestions I am open to listen to you because I still wonder what will go on. You can leave your comments, if not, please enjoy the reading.

I am so happy to read your comments with the previous chapters, and I will try to make them more longer because I tend to make them short, but I can change that. Or at least try.


	7. Chapter 7

**"I don't want to repeat the same mistakes"**

"Wait" Kotoko stopped as she touched Naoki's lower lip, who almost closed his eyes in the act of kissing her.

She saw him blinking, out of him.

"What?" He asked stunned.

"What do you mean?" She demanded to know, taking two steps back in defense of her pride. "Do you imply that you like me?" She inquired, crossing her arms.

His silence settled in the weather they were subjected to presence, and she believed that perhaps he did it to make fun of her as he used to, but a part of her told her that maybe he had feelings for her but didn't admit it because of pride and narcissism he didn't confess them.

She knew that Naoki was a proud guy above all things, above all, he placed pride before anything else.

That was one of the reasons why she wouldn't forgive him so easily, if he asked for her forgiveness.

"What else can I be implying?" He deflected the question, tilting his head with a frown.

"Irie-kun?" She sighed, raising her shoulders.

"Isn't that obvious?" He incited disdainfully, trying to sound clear although the things was not going that way. She raised her eyebrow, wrinkling her eyes without understanding where Naoki wanted to go. "Of course I like you, dummy" He confessed in a jagged one, moving his forearms from top to bottom to make himself understood, opening those inexpressive eyes that in an inexorable attitude begged to be heard. "I have liked you for a while, but you didn't realize it" He continued. "You were always so distracted as to realize my feelings" He said spitefully.

Kotoko's chest compressed, repressing the desire to return to the past and return to Naoki, even when she was aware of the damage he caused her. Suddenly, she remembered the words that made her reach the house of the Irie for a lot of work that cost her to arrive whole; those words that left a stab in her heart, but a warm stab that gave rise to a comforting and somewhat strange feeling.

_'__I want to wait for you' _

Keita's benevolent words, the intentions to help her, his kindness above her condition, etc. The man who did not judge her without knowing her, but gave her the help she needed and shouted to be saved from the abyss, the same one in which she was created by being blind in love.

But, it hurt to be called "dumb" by Naoki, even now that he confessed face to face he kept telling her dumb. She has always been a fool for him no matter what.

She recognized that it had been enough.

"Are you serious?" She muttered. "Or are you playing with me?" A part of her wanted to make sure that he didn't played with her.

"What?" Naoki was petrified, his eyes flickering from the disbelief he felt.

"I asked you a question" She claimed, stepping forward. "Are you playing with me or not, Irie-kun"

"Of course not" He denied in a frustrated tone,

"Then you do like me" She said below her breath, though Naoki could hear her perfectly well. "But, you're getting married," She said, embarrassed.

"It's nonsense," he complained, shaking his head negatively. "I did it because I thought I could save my father's company, but knowing that you would marry someone else made me see that my decisions are not always the right ones."

_So it's like that?_ She thought joining the pieces of the mystery that was slowly revolting before her.

_Irie-kun, loves me?_

"Kotoko" He said, taking her hand, and with that, softening his expression. "I won't marry Sahoko" He said, rectifying his words. "Not with anyone, if it's not you"

"Me?" She expressed incredulously with her mouth open. He nodded.

"I didn't want to marry someone other than you" He said in a good way, clasping heis hand to hers intensely. "It can't be someone else"

"Eh, yes, but I" She tried to explain, but she stopped when she saw that Naoki bent down to kiss her on the mouth, from which she escaped.

"What's wrong?" Naoki froze, confused.

"I don't want to" She said putting her decision at risk. She shouldn't fall into Naoki's trap again.

"I don't understand" Naoki approached her again, but she pulled away harder. "Kotoko" He called her out of what was happening.

"I-I-I don't want to marry you" She confessed, getting courage. "I don't want to be with you!" She released him by the hand and ran off in the direction of the 'Akemi' cafeteria, feeling the confused and constant look that Naoki gave her from behind, looking smaller and smaller as his figure faded from the street.

She was sure she didn't want to repeat the same mistakes, so she escaped.

If she hadn't left, she would probably forgive his comments and actions to Naoki, who didn't deserve it for hurting her in the worst way.

He didn't deserve to be with her.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** What do you think of the chapter? It's somewhat short, I could say, but there will be more longer than this. I read your previous reviews and I'm glad to see that the story is well received even though I didn't knew if it was a good story.

Naoki in this chapter is still intense but very dense with his feelings and how to convey them properly, and Kotoko, as you can see, is trying to be better and to heal her broken heart. I thought that this was the logical way of solving the problem.

Do you still want to see Kotoko with Naoki or not? Or how do you see Naoki in this chapter? Do you think Naoki deserves Kotoko?


	8. Chapter 8

**"Keita's comfort"**

She ran as fast as her lungs supported her directly to the "Akemi" cafeteria, her ears rumbled deafening as her eyes gradually blurred with tears about to escape.

The unbearable burden of dealing with Naoki's changed attitude was not an easy task, but a hell of a one. Having taken her by the hand, trying to kiss her, confessing his love, all those details that her previous self would have forgiven at first, were the proof of that destiny put her in front for the to solve.

There were difficulties, but she did not give up, on the contrary, she accepted the challenge.

The first tear ran out of her eye, falling like torrents of rain down from her hot cheeks from so much running.

She clenched her knuckles.

The issues that frustrated the human mind became vague when we tried to decipher the enigma behind the mystery. For Kotoko, Naoki was cruel and ruthless. A cold man, of which the only thing he did in his life was to provoke inconsolable tears everywhere.

On the other hand, she would have forgiven Naoki, but on the other, she wouldn't have chosen that decision.

Her body was tired in spite of its fruitful attempts to yield her destination, although being so, that didn't stop her determination to arrive.

_Why?_ She wondered in a raspy voice.

_Why right now? Why did Irie-kun tell me those things? Why did he have to wait so long?_

A shower of whys invaded her mind, which engineered a thousand of thoughts related to Naoki.

Why should Naoki always hurt her every time they saw each other? If his hatred of her seemed like another hobby, forgiving him was not an option, just as staying in love shouldn't be an alternative.

To love Naoki in a romantic way would not make her grow as a person, but would make her go back to the point of no return, of not solving the main problem.

No one but her knew that an equivocal love was not beneficial to the soul, on the contrary, it meant giving in to the narcissistic whims of an evil man who would only seek to increase his ego. Only that.

And she wasn't in the mood to deal with it.

* * *

With the air leaking from her lungs, her chest about to explode, her breathing agitated and a handful of tears, she managed to reach her destination.

She entered the cafeteria 'Akemi' staggering with the entrance door, walking slowly across the floor. Some clients observed her uncomfortable with her physical appearance, other did not even care, and one that another employee recognized her upon her arrival. When one employee recognized her, he shot into the kitchen to tell Kazuki that she had returned.

Perhaps the situation did not end the way she expected it, but that did not remain that she had arrived at the place that welcomed her the night before.

Tears fell like torrential rain, her eyes flushed in the same way that her whole body burned and it punctured thermal sensations in the form of gradual palpitations.

A strange feelings for her, but no stranger to her body.

She was already accustomed to suffering for love, disappointments, humiliations, hurtful words, etc. A little physical effort would not kill her.

She felt that the world was coming over her, drowning and cornering her to make a new decision, but nevertheless, she would not give into Naoki's bribes for being her. She would not give him the opportunity to suffer again for love, to return to a period of time that she would not want to relive even in dreams.

She went up to the second floor, because she didn't want to be seen by customers that way. But, just when she was missing a few steps to get there, Keita appeared.

She stopped when she felt a manly hand hold her wrist, putting pressure on his soft, warm grip. He turned her toward him in an agile movement, making their eyes meet within seconds; Keita's dark orbs penetrated her, clearing herself form head to toe.

Without more, Keita was no superman of a super hero with a cape, but he did compensate the damage with that penetrating gaze, being a risk for her who thought that believing in love would be cruel, but when she looked at Keita that though vanished from her mind.

She continued crying, while strong arms held her by the waist and he brought her closer to a young, warm and protective body.

She let herself be embraced by Keita, letting the paint and sadness leave her body like a bad omen, a slip that would not allow her to her as a prisoner of her own mistakes.

"Cry all you want" Keita said, exerting pressure, bringing her close to his chest for her to cry all that she needed to let out. "You don't have to feel embarrassed about being seen like that, that means you're human" He added quietly, lightly rubbing Kotoko's red hair, who was crying inconsolable on his chest, letting out sobs making up for crying with the warmth that Keita radiated with just a hug.

She also allowed herself to feel taken into account by someone who was not Oba-sama and her father, but by a man. A man who saved her from her own abyss, a man who now considered her savior.

"I-I can't take this pain anymore." She let out a choked sob coming from her throat.

Keita stroked her coppery hair with one hand and with the other brought her to his chest across the waist.

"Let it go," he said in a resigned sigh. "Don't keep it to yourself anymore, Kotoko." He said her name softly, causing her to shiver.

The crying gradually dissipated, the tears stopped running in the form of torrential rain, and her body that used to prickle in excessive heat, the temperature dropped.

Keita's hands landed on her shoulders, extending between them to cover her with the friction of his strength. She felt Keita's intense and penetrating gaze behold her with interest, lowering his head to see her form a better angle.

"I see you've calmed down" He said, smiling sideways, letting out a quiet chuckle. "You worried me" He showed his pleasing teeth, circling Kotoko's shoulders with his fingertips, softening the contact between them were moments ago.

Kotoko's heart contracted, giving her a hot overturn causing an increase in body temperature in her body, but it was not sad, but something else.

She felt it different, despite feeling sad, worse, the feeling was different, so she did not downplay it.

That way, the desire to want to see Naoki again disappeared with greater force than last night.

Feelings towards Naoki, her first love, slowly faded from her heart, also, eroding from the earth like a dark cloud was moving away from the sky. The way he played with her did not satisfy her, on the contrary, they caused her twisted feelings towards him. A harmless aberration.

Irie Naoki not only broke hearts, he also lowered his lover's self-esteem with strong words, whether they were true or not, he kept doing it, but despite everything, he was right to tell Kotoko 'dumb' for a long time because she had understood that message.

he message he said daily without stopping to think that perhaps his words could seriously hurt her to the point of no return. That is why Irie Naoki must stop being a being of her liking to become a cruel man towards people, especially her.

Comparing him to Kamogari Keita would be unnecessary, since Keita was much better than him.

She wiped the tears from her face, adding importance to the fact that Keita hoped to see in her a favorable reaction, worried about her condition as the future nurse she will be.

She looked at him with gratefulness, admiration, smiling at him.

"Thanks, Keita" Se said in a sigh, expanding her chest and deflating it.

He sketched a barbaric smile, narrowing his eyes and lowering his tense shoulders that patiently awaited an answer from her.

Kotoko, that action, she found interesting, she even dared to say that attractive.

She tensed her teeth, wanting to hide her reaction when she saw Keita smiling quietly at being able to help.

Looking at another man so fast caused other problems that might not be worth looking for.

.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** What do you think about the chapter? A KeitaxKotoko chapter! I wanted to give Keita more development and presence because I felt that in the manga/anime he wasn't given much screen time and I wanted him to have more presence.I think that he's much better than Naoki, a better candidate for her because Naoki is very cruel to her even when there married!. And Keita cares for her deeply, helps her and always wants her to be better.

So I question:

Is Kotoko falling in love with Keita? Do you think that's a better choice? or is it better to see her grow as a person first and then fall in love?

I don't know what you think. If you liked the chapter you can comment, if not, please enjoy the reading


	9. Chapter 9

**"Conversations with Keita(part 1)"**

"I'd like to hear your story" Keita said sitting in the room that Kazuki had lent her the night before.

"My…story?" She mentioned trying to sound eloquent, while Keita's clinging look for trying to understand her paralyzed her for being to sincere and noble.

She saw him nod, settling in the padded chair, crossing his knees.

"I'm, wiling think it's right" She expressed uncertainly, rubbing her hands anxiously. "Besides, I barely know you"

"It's easier to say your problems with a stranger" He smiled bar kingly. "Don't you think?" He let his arms rest at his sides in a relaxed, but attentive pose.

That behavior caused Kotoko some fear, that fear that in Naoki was visible to the naked eye, turned out to be different in Keita. She was not afraid.

She sighed fearfully, shrugged her shoulders, clenching her lips in a tiny line drawn on her childish face.

"It's a very long story" She confessed, bowing her head in apparent defeat.

Keita raised his eyebrows, surprised.

"I have all the time in the world to know the story" He replied, smiling mockingly. "I'm willing to listen to you, don't be afraid"

Then she started telling him everything about Irie Naoki. The insults, the humiliations on his part, but she also told him that it wasn't all Naoki's fault, but her own too. She confessed that she had harassed him and stalked him everywhere without taking into account his opinion, but nevertheless, he was the one who did the most damage to her.

He had broken her heart, lowered her self-esteem to the extent of being vulnerable, damaged her thinking and her mental and emotional health, as well as mistreated her daily, and yet he had just confessed that he loved her.

At that moment Keita gave a snort of annoyance that frightened Kotoko, who was about to finish her story about Naoki.

"What's wrong, Keita?" She asked curious to know why he snorted.

"That Naoki" He began without fully understanding the subject. "Did he really tell you that he was in love with you?" He asked incredulously.

She nodded in repair.

"It's outrageous that after treating you so badly, he has the nerve to confess his feelings" He expressed in grave disdain towards Naoki, shaking his head negatively with a frown. He seemed to be upset. "No man in his right mind mistreats the girl he likes, no one!"

"But" She stopped to continue the phrase, reflecting coldly that probably, no, that it was a fact that Keita's argument was an absolute truth despite being painful for her.

And even if she looked for reasons to deny it, she would find none to support what Naoki did to her. The serious damage that a man absent from his own feelings does to a person he supposedly considered valuable to his life, in addition to confessing to wanting to marry her.

Kotoko felt chills at imagining such a scenario.

A life next to a man who verbally mistreats her daily… how horrible that would be! Sje shook her head, giving small breaths to calm her fear of the image that her mind taught her in that period of time when she reflected on him, about Naoki.

"I can't imagine what you went through because of him" Keita confessed sadly. "Bearing his whims, his comments, his humiliations, and everything in the name of love!" He waved his arms from the same expression. "Forgive me Kotoko, but that's not love, it's dependence" He corrected straight, changing his calm gesture into a serious one. "You became dependent on that Naoki because you thought he would be the solution to your problems, but the only one that can solve them is you" He pointed at her. "That man does not deserve your forgiveness, please reflect carefully and discern what good and bad moments you had, and how many they were"

She was thoughtful, recapping with restlessness the moments she shared with Naoki when she thought he was falling in love with her, or was simply being nice to her, however kindness did not make it a characteristic to name him in Naoki.

The moments passed through her mind like flashed shortly of that time, the conversations they had, the conflicts they both went thanks to her clumsiness, although she reiterated that she had been the cause of the things that happened with him.

She felt a terrible shame settling bitterly in her stomach, a piercing hole growing in her chest. But, more than anything, she felt regret for her behavior, for her thoughts.

That reflection of herself from the past, gave her a chill all over her spine making her tremble with fear.

"Kotoko don't force yourself to remember something that hurts you," Keita said, trying to sound accurate. "It's better if you start to forgive yourself and heal on your own than to follow him, don't you think?"

He looked at her, without re-issuing a word while he watched her in full analysis of her story, gradually assimilating the events that led her to him, to the cafeteria. The impulse that led her to a place where she would not suffer for love the way she did.

Keita realized how fragile a woman's heart could be; a heart that was beating happily everywhere, but once broken, it was difficult to amend.

He saw that Kotoko's heart was difficult to repair, but not impossible to recover.

"Do you think that is the right thing?" Kotoko asked uncertainly, shrugging.

"Of course it is!" Keita replied fervently. "You can't blame yourself for what that idiot did to you!"

"But I followed him"

"You didn't do it with bad intention," he said stubbornly. "That's what you must understand, that you didn't do it with the intention of harming that Naoki."

"I don't want to talk about him," She snapped, shaking with rage and how much suffering she felt out of her body.

"However you like," He said respectfully, lowering his head. "Only please don't hurt yourself more than you already feel."

"I don't think so" She muttered under breath, stopping her hands from rubbing each other. Childish actions should not go with her.

"Do you have any idea what you're going to do from now on?" He asked intrigued.

She thought about it for a few seconds, which for Keita were eternal.

Who knows what would go through the mind of a shattered woman.

Suddenly, he saw her nod slowly, seeming to tell herself what she will say.

"I want to stop loving Irie-kun," She confessed. "I want to bury this pain I feel, because I don't want to feel that way anymore." She took a deep breath. "I want my heart to forget about Irie-kun"

With that her goal was already set, all that was missing was to put it into practice.

.

.

.

.

**P.S. **What do you think of the chapter? There was an rapprochement with Keita and Kotoko, but more than a romantic one I say that it was more of a friendly one. I have read your comments and I think that it could be better for Kotoko to grow on her own before falling in love, because it's really soon to fall in love when she is heartbroken. It would seem a bit odd to put her in a relationship with Keita so soon. Although, I plan to make her fall in love with someone better than Naoki... but I'm still working on it.

My question is:

Should Kotoko study nursing or not? You know I kinda feel that she chose that path to be close to Naoki, so I say that it's not the best choice, but I want to ask you that.

Or she should continue to another career? Maybe like a writer? Or something like that.

I know she has so much potential hidden in her, and she needs to exploit it the best way possible.

Well the, I hope you had enjoyed the lecture and if you like you can leave your reviews because they're the best! If not, enjoy reading it.


	10. Chapter 10

**"Conversations with Keita (part 2)"**

"Are you sure what you're telling me?" He asked with bulging eyes.

"Eh…yes" She nodded, smiling nervously. "Did I say something wrong, Keita?"

"It's not that!" He repaired, then feeling a slight stab originating from his noble heart. A curiously strange stab. This seemed inappropriate behavior for a man of his personality: straight and honest.

"Did my decision seem to precipitated?" She said in a sigh.

"It's not that" He said again, chocked. "It's just that I was moved with what you said"

Kotoko's eyes widened as her mouth opened in amazement.

"I… moved you?" She asked embarrassed.

"I don't know if I used the right words to say that" he said somewhat regretfully for what he said, an ephemeral affliction appearing on his face. "Because all I wanted to say was that I was moved to see how you made the decision to stop loving Naoki, being that he was the man who hurt you cruelly"

"Oh…" she sighed, assimilating Keita's well-meaning words.

"I wanted to tell you that" He cleared his throat, rising immediately. "Well, I imagine you're hungry" He commented, and with that, Kotoko's stomach began to growl with hunger. Both of them laughed.

"I hadn't remembered that I was hungry" She laughed, showing her childish laugh that she had long abandoned, from which she began to feel better.

A world full of laughter and love, prompted a destroyed person to want to change and therefore, undertake the search in the direction of that point where happiness came to their lives. Simply put, be full.

If the tears fulfilled the purpose of leaving the pain behind, then that the situation arose, because otherwise, it would have been a waste of time, and that she well knew that she lost five years of unilateral love for an idiot who thought she was in love.

She didn't consider it worthy of a woman to go after him, for that idiot.

But now that she had woken up from her dream, or rather, from her fantasy. The world began to revolve around the next course, that if so, her life would improve for the better.

Keita brought with him a hamburger and fries on a plate, which she felt devoured without thinking twice. While she was eating, she felt Keita's intense gaze, which sought in her some reaction other than her unconditional love for food, but nevertheless, there was no reaction that Keita looked forward to.

From time to time it was accepted not to force situations to improve at imperceptible speeds.

Allowing himself to let the life of the girl he saved flow was a good deed.

"Kotoko" He spoke when he had just finished eating.

"Tell me" She looked up with the mouth spotted in catsup she put on the French fries.

"You have a dirty mouth" He said with a laugh.

Kotoko blushed with shame and immediately wiped her mouth with her napkin. In those, an important detail came to mind that stole the air.

"What's wrong?"

"I haven't visited my dad!" She exclaimed worriedly, putting both hands on her cheeks with her mouth open. "And I haven't apologized to Kin-chan for rejecting him"

"Kin-chan?" Keita repeated with his face disengaged. "You didn't mention him in the story"

"Oh, well" She heaved a sigh, dropping her shoulders. "He is my best friend, but of course I agreed to marry him and I immediately regretted that I didn't love him"

"And you think it's okay to hurt your best friend's feelings out of spite?" He inquired. "Didn't you think even a little about your friend's feelings?"

She ducked her head, dejected. She denied.

"You know that's not right" He recalled looking grumpy about the subject.

"I know" She nodded hurt.

"I am not scolding you" He clarified uncomfortably with the change of expression in Kotoko, since for a second he though he had been hard on her.

"I know" She replied grimly, nodding again. "It was a cruel thing on my part"

"You made a mirror" Keita added. He saw her furrow her eyebrows in confusion, so he decided to continue. "I meant you did the same action that Naoki did with you, if he hurt you, you wanted to repeat it with someone else, unconsciously"

_A mirror, huh?_

Mirrors usually reflect who we really are. They show us whole without hiding anything. They undress us and show us what's inside.

That was what she had done: a mirror.

She reflected the pain that Naoki had caused her in someone else; in an innocent man who loved her with the best devotion, showing the world form his point of view, opening the panorama to the one she had previously closed, but she did not want to see beyond.

She was blinded and hurt the feelings of someone who didn't deserve it.

"I know I did wrong" she spoke feeling guilty. "But I'll amend it" she said, nodding her head to reaffirm what he said. "Besides, I need to see my father to let him know I'm fine" She stood up like a spring, adjusting the skirt of the dress. "I don't have anything to lose anyway" She smiled genuinely and surely at the same time. "I lost what I lost, less the hope to grow"

Keita gave a pleased smile, relaxing his tense shoulders and his calm had appeared on her serious face.

The words that were needed to be said, explained and defined will come alone.

The road was just beginning to be built.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** What do you think? A somewhat short chapter, but others will come longer than this. I wanted to make Kotoko more confident in herself and Keita a friend here, to built up there relationship since they barely know each other. Although I have read your comments and they have helped a lot to think about the next step of the story and how to develop the plot for better. I have to admit that you have awesome ideas and you're the best when I still don't know what to do with the story.

Thank you for being here since the first chapter and if you're new here you are welcome to comment and follow the development of Kotoko and her road towards a better future for herself. We all deserve not to suffer for love like how she won't suffer anymore for that unilateral love she had for Irie Naoki. Let's continue the path of freedom with her and be part of it.

I question:

What do you think would come to Kotoko's life since this chapter?

The story is very slow paced or should I make it a little bit more faster?

Would you like longer chapters or short ones, like this one?

Well then...

I hope that his short chapter was to your liking and stay tuned for upcoming updates.

If you want to comment ahead, I hope and you enjoy reading.


	11. Chapter 11

**"The comprehension of a father"**

Kotoko sped off towards the bus stop, taking with her a few yens to pay for the one-way ticket, since her previous ticket had expired and she required a new one to get on without a problem.

Before leaving, she said goodbye to Keita, who was worried about herself to go out at night and alone, but she assured him that she would return before ten at night with the problem half resolved; Kazuki, likewise offered to accompany her, and she received the same response as Keita.

Therefore, she was nor alone in the bus seat, rubbing her hands eager to arrive.

She recapitulated the moments she had spent with her father: her only relative.

Her father was a good man, he protected her a lot, while giving her many freedoms in order to see her smile. He fulfilled her whims, but also showed his affection every time he had the time to do so.

She loved her father very much, and she admired him for having patience after raising her during all those years.

* * *

She arrived at her father's restaurant, the lights were on, and the noise of the customers could be heard from the outside.

She took a deep breath, at the same time she was pushing the enclosures door hard, raising her chin.

She didn't delay in locating her father cooking behind the bar, int he company of one of his chefs.

She was disturbed not to find Kin-chan anywhere, or at least listen to his screams he used to emit when he finished some excellent dish.

However, much to her regret, she approached her father, who at first hadn't noticed her presence, but once he did saw her, he was dumbfounded.

"Da-Daughter!" He exclaimed in surprise, stopping what he was doing.

"Father" She said, denoting a sad smile. "Sorry if I haven't had time to let you know my situation" She bowed her head, sorry for her guilt. Thanks to her, her father must have been worried very much.

"You don't have to apologize to me" He said, without diminishing his astonishment. He walked the bar until he reached her, and with his arms he wrapped her in a strong and firm hug that expressed his mortification and his love for his only daughter. "You have no idea how worried I was worried about you"

Kotoko let out a breath of amazement, opening the orbs of her hazel eyes symbolizing the impression of having her father so close to her, where she could appreciate and assimilate the force in which his arms hugged her, the candid heat of a father, the protection that he often gave her in her childhood.

Those little details that she didn't value as much as she did now.

Those fragments of her childhood were reuniting with her now, twenty years old, accumulating in a blink.

She let herself be embraced by her father, allowing herself to receive paternal love, the one she had so much in front but didn't appreciate clearly.

She reciprocated her father's hug, and smiled in joy, feeling calm with herself.

"I know" She said quietly, nodding. "Forgive me, father"

"No" He replied, refusing. "You don't have to apologize if you didn't do anything wrong"

"But" She tried to walk away, but he refused to do so.

"No, you don't have to feel responsible for what happened with Shigeki's son anymore" He stressed in a voice that seemed to be a tangible reality. "The things that happened with Naoki-kun are none of your business, because you know you never did anything with the intention of hurting him"

"But I made a mistake" Kotoko replied desperately. "I followed him no matter what he thought of me, and now look how things have been"

"Yes, it may be so" He nodded, moving slowly away from her, but without taking both hands off her arms, whose feeling grew between them. "But, you know you're always going to count on me, because I'm your father" He gave her a fatherly smile, where his wrinkles became visible, and his eyes narrowed. "And the decision you make from today, or any other day, you will have my unconditional support" He added, after a brief silence from Kotoko, who similarly nodded, her eyes crystalizing product of the feeling she felt for being to her father, in a way, for constantly thinking about Naoki. So much thought about him, that she neglected partly valuable time of coexistence next to her only close relative.

"Thank you" She thanked, smiling at him.

"Of course" Her father placed a hand on her hair, rubbing her strands of straight her tenderly. "Now, I imagine you're hungry"

"I already ate" She replied alarmed, shaking her hands at chest height. "I was coming to tell you about that, of the days I was out, although they were a few"

"Ah… I see" He sighed, arching his eyebrows. "Well, let's talk about that right away" He withdrew his hand form her head and headed for the bar.

Then, Kotoko told her how she came to the cafeteria "Akemi", then the young waiter who called himself Kamogari Keita, ended up being her savior, because thanks to him, she could find a place to spend the night; She added that she met Kazuki Hanako, and her hospitality to her was the conclusion that she could cry as much as she could until she felt a weight disappear from her.

Her father, hearing her daughter's anecdote, listened to her with great attention, sometimes nodding slightly, others gasped in surprise, and in some he sketched pure mutism.

At the end of the story, she waited for her father's response anxiously, occasionally, rubbing her hands together, nodding and pounding her body from front to back.

What things will go through her father's head?

"I see," She heard him say, biting his lower lip, nodding.

She looked up, lost in that vague and ambiguous response.

"What thing?" She questioned uncertainly, putting her hands on the edge of the table.

"Daughter, don't be alarmed." Her father raised his open hand. "I was assimilating what you just told me."

"Oh." She stopped thinking that her father would scold her for her disappearance. "Aren't you mad about what I did?"

"What? No, of course not," he replied, confused with Kotoko's reaction. "Why should I be mad at you?"

"But, I rejected Kin-chan." She stammered desperately. "I told him that I agreed to marry him and then reject him, I disappeared because I didn't have the guts to face all of you."

"And that has an explanation, doesn't it?" Her father said, as calmly. Kotoko was stunned by her father's attitude, but that didn't stop her from continuing to look for excuses and excuses to prove that she was not an excellent daughter, since she was looking for some kind of corrective to be relieved by it. However, her father did not scold her.

"Daughter, if you look for some scolding on my part," Her father said. "You won't have it"

"Why?" Kotoko protested stubbornly. "If I did things I shouldn't do"

"Because you're an adult," He replied simply. "And as an adult you are responsible for your actions, for your decisions, and above all, for your mistakes," he pointed out, nodding with each sentence he said. "So it is not my duty to scold you, if not yours,"

"I don't understand," she murmured, confused.

"What I mean is that you become responsible for your actions," he replied.

"Of my actions?" She repeated incredulously, even without understanding what her father was trying so hard to make her understand. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh," he sighed overwhelmed, placing a hand on his forehead. "Look, daughter, what I want to tell you is that when you reach a new stage in your life, in this case, adulthood, new responsibilities begin that in adolescence you were not aware of doing, and now, you enter a stage in which you learn to develop and mature in the environment in which you want to develop "After a silence for Kotoko as he recorded his father's words, she gave him entrance to continue talking. "Also, you must learn to become independent and find your own path, although you should know that you always have my support, so you don't have to worry because you have all the time in the world to think about you and know you better." He smiled proudly. "You have a lot of talent, Kotoko, you just have to find out."

"You're right" It was the only thing that Kotoko said, after thinking about it after about five minutes when she saw that her father briefly summarized the following requests from the restaurant's clients, but seeing that she meditated on his words, he gave her her space, as he had always done. "I should become independent and know myself better to choose the right path."

"You've always known," Her father told her in what he was adorning a dish, but still paying attention to his daughter. "You have always known your way, but you had obstacles that did not allow you to discover it, now it is time to put the batteries and take control of your life"

"By the way, where is Kin-chan?" She decided to ask after her previous reflection. Her father raised an eyebrow, coughing uncomfortably.

"Kinnosuke is behind," He pointed out cautiously. "He has been very busy working, he doesn't talk to anyone." He raised his eyebrows, disappointed. "He had evolved very well in the kitchen, but he has plunged into a trance that I can't even get him out of there"

That meant that her rejection had affected him seriously, even in his beloved profession that was cooking.

_Poor Kin-chan_, she lowered her head, looking for some solution in terms of words to explain what she was reflecting the past few hours.

She owed Kin-chan a lot, because if it wasn't for his marriage proposal, she wouldn't have woken up from the fantasy and would have given her heart to the man who destroyed it.

If it wasn't for Kin-chan, she wouldn't have made the worst mistake of her life, on the contrary, she prevented it.

She needed to make passes with Kin-chan.

"Thank you." She nodded and retreated to the back of the kitchen

.

.

.

.

**P.S. **A freshly made chapter! I was thinking about what I could put to give a better follow-up, and it occurred to me to dedicate a chapter dedicated to the relations between Kotoko and her father, since I feel that in the anime there was not much talk, or rather, that there were not many scenes between them and I wanted to cover a chapter that focused on the father / daughter relationship.

Father/daughter relationships are essential for personal growth as much as emotional stability, and that is something that Kotoko needs very much for her to grow personally.

I hope that his chapter has been to your liking and I expect to bring you more excitement to this story.

Thank you so much for your reviews, you're the best.

**NOTE:** I reloaded this chapter because I saw that I made some grammar mistakes, I apologize because it's still difficult for me to translate chapter after chapter, although I enjoy doing it for my readers.


	12. Chapter 12

**"Kin-chan's forgiveness"**

Kotoko moved carefully to the back of his father's restaurant, feeling the rushed heartbeat of her heart, jumping and turning everywhere.

The blood felt hot, boiling.

Fear? Yes, she felt it in every particle of her skin.

Guilt? Yes, that was the feeling was eating her head.

How could she hurt her best friend? How could she do it?

Entering the door, she saw the figure of the cook. He was cutting a tuna steak in strips for sashimi, leaving them on the tray where he would later take it to the bar where the other chefs prepared them in view of the customers.

Kin-chan looked serious, cutting the pieces of the tuna finely, however and to increase her guilt, he seemed to be in a quiet trance, almost imperceptible to someone as scandalous as he was.

The only thing Kotoko could feel was regret.

Despite feeling this way, she took courage to speak with the best possible disposition.

"Kin-chan" She muttered under her breath, saving her best voice.

The aforementioned stopped in his tracks, with the knife in the air, and the hand that firmly held the tune froze.

Kinnosuke turned in her direction, giving him the appearance of being scared.

"Kotoko" He said incredulously, without hiding the wonder on his face when he saw her standing in front of him.

She believed that he might think he was hallucinating, but he would soon come out that thought when he heard her tell him everything he tried to make her understand during the time she was being Naoki.

"What are you doing here?" He was faster than she to speak. "I'm very busy, I'll see you later" He excused himself by evading Kotoko's gaze, who, in turn, didn't boast that he felt a certain resentment towards her, or worse, anger at having been cruelly rejected by his side.

"No" She denied the suggestion without hesitating for a second.

"What?" Kin-chan put the knife on the table, causing slight chill in Kotoko for what he would do, in case that he was a little fuzzy.

"I came ti tell you something important, Kin-chan" She raised her voice, determined.

A silence cracked between them, when Kin-chan watched her analyzing her, changing his elusive expression to another serious and attentive one.

"What is it?" He asked her after a silence, which for her was eternal.

"Forgive me for hurting you the way I did" She confessed swallowing hard, squeezing her knuckles to herself strength. "It wasn't my intention from the beginning, since I only did it out of spite, pure spite!" She exclaimed the last sentence in great regret. "I realized after that that Irie-kun wasn't right for me, I think" She stopped, taking a deep breath before adding. "He was never the right one for me"

Kinnosuke was taken off guard, and it was evident in his expressive feature that they changed dramatically.

"I don't think that's possible, Kotoko" He said without taking her seriously. "You said it in the past many times and you never kept your word"

"Yes, it is possible!" She clarified determinedly, holding her hands. "Yes, I can do it this time because I woke up from the fantasy"

"It's not that I don't believe you, Kotoko" He threw a neigh similar to that of a horse, product of his throat. "But, I already know this story, when Irie approached you you will doubt again and fall directly at his feet" He declared, sure of what he said.

Kotoko hesitated for a moment, for a second, she swore she doubted it a lot.

"You see? You're doubting" He pointed her with his finger, as if he was a wise man. "Kotoko, you know you can't do it, no matter how much you try because you're tied to Irie by who know what strength it is"

She took that as a challenge, that is, an incentive to do so.

"You'll see that I can do it" She rise her right thumb. "I can't let myself be overcome by my own fantasy, it would be a waste of my time, more that it already was" She said with havoc in her sad voice. "Don't underestimate me, Kin-chan!"

Kin-chan backed up tense.

"But you can never leave him"

"He won't hurt me again" She interrupted him. "Because he's not what I'm looking for and what I need now"

"And what is that?" He inquired, frowning.

"I want to be stronger." She confessed, accepting her decision pleasantly as if she had not done so before, however, now she was facing the person who tried so hard to protect her in his own way. "I want to prove to myself that I can overcome myself, that what happened with Irie-kun helps me to grow and that things will not always happen as I expect them." She stepped forward, reaffirming what was said. "You're going to see Kin-chan, that I keep my word even if they don't believe me at first." She pointed at him with a firm look. "You're going to see that my mistakes will help me to be a more assertive, intelligent and capable person in life, I will be a person who can fend for herself despite the circumstances, because the pain that Irie-kun made me pass it was necessary for me to wake up from the fantasy, from the dream I thought was the ideal"

Kin-chan stepped back, but this time, he crashed into the edge of the cutting board, watching her carefully, frowning, stumbling with his own body.

"I've never seen you like this" He muttered perplexed, his mouth slightly open.

"I told you I'm serious," she replied stubbornly. "I don't lie, Kin-chan!" She noticed, flushed on her cheeks, the product of the same feeling of courage and guilt that was supporting her in the process.

"And what about Irie?" He questioned, even without much preamble. He moved his hands to his sides, reloading his body on the cutting board. "I mean that if he admits to be in love with you, what will you do after that?" His gesture showed concern, dismay. and quite rightly, if she had given him enough reasons to doubt her decision.

"He already told me that he is love with me" She admitted in a calm gesture, while uncomfortable, for having remembered Naoki's immovable expression when he confessed and the unorthodox way he did it. You could tell instantly that Naoki was not guided by emotions, but by reason. "But I rejected him" She swallowed, feeling the lump in her throat that could exist inside her didn't exist as she thought would happen.

"What?" Kin-chan coughed incredulous. "It's not possible! Does the genius have feelings?"

"Apparently yes" She agreed, nodding.

"But, but"

"But nothing Kin-chan" She intervened. "I'm not sorry to have done it because I felt better doing it, and above all" She dared to add, letting out a malicious giggle. "I got to see his surprised face when I rejected him"

"Really?" She saw him open his mouth in pure amazement, as if he had witnessed a miracle in flesh and blood.

Kotoko nodded.

"It's not possible!" Kin-chan exclaimed, raising both hands to his black hair. "It you love Irie"

"Yes, it's possible" She said contradicting him. "It's possible when you think it is"

"Kotoko" He pronounced in a vast sigh, dropping his shoulders down towards the ground. "I never thought this day would come"

Kotoko gave a triumphant smile, encouraging herself to be honest with her best friend.

"I'll believe you" He nodded, smiling sideways.

In that Kotoko recalled the reason she had gone to deal with Kin-chan. To clear the puzzle of whether or not they were still friends.

"One more thing, Kin-chan" She said alarmed. "Are we still friends or not?" She asked mortified.

"What?" Kin-chan articulated strangely. "Of course we are still friends, Kotoko, we have never ceased to be" He said, smiling at her.

"But I hurt you" She repaired, unsure. "I wasn't fair to you"

Kin-chan raised his hand in the air as a sign for her to stop.

"I wasn't fair either" He admitted. "I asked you to marry me even knowing you were in love with Irie, that wasn't fair"

"I think we were both unfair to each other" Kotoko added, giggling into the air. "But, I'm glad to know that we're still friends" She smiled satisfied.

"We will always be friends, Kotoko" Kin-chan said, smiling back.

.

.

.

.

**P.S. **A new chapter uploaded, it took me a while to write it because I have several projects in mind and there are some that I am already publishing as they come out, I hope the wait is not much and that they enjoyed the chapter.

I think that it is essential for Kin-chan and Kotoko to be friends, even when she hurt him, and this will help her to recover and grow to be more assertive and intelligent than what she already knew she was.

Let's see what happens next! I hope this chapter has been to your liking, if not, you can leave a review and let me know your opinion.

Thank you


	13. Chapter 13

**"Encounter with Naoki"**

After talking with Kin-chan for a while, Kotoko saw it convenient to leave for the "Akemi" cafeteria, realizing that it was past nine o'clock at night and she would not be able to take the next bus.

In that, Kin-chan offered to accompany her to the bus stop, although she initially refused, ended up accepting.

"Father." She approached her father before leaving the restaurant. "I promise to visit you soon," she assured, drawing a small smile.

"Of course, daughter," he nodded, giving her a big hug. "Don't let yourself win so fast, always remember it."

"Yes, father." She hugged him back, feeling less weight on top of her, as if her father had the ability to absorb the pain just by hugging her.

In part he felt guilty as soon as he said goodbye to him and left the restaurant.

"So," Kin-chan tried to make conversation, looking a little embarrassed.

"Yes, Kin-chan?" Kotoko turned to see him.

"What are you going to do from now on?" He asked, taking a breath.

"Hm," she answered absorbed in that question. "I do not know yet"

"Don't push yourself if you don't know what to do," he said, smiling confidently. "It's not something that comes overnight."

"I know." She breathed down. "I had never really thought about it."

"That's something you can do right now," he said sharply. "Thinking what to do is ideal at a time like this"

Kotoko remained thoughtful, letting her feet move forward, taking advantage of the fact that the road was well memorized.

She noticed that Kin-chan tried to comfort her, help her and give her confidence so she wouldn't give up on what she already had in mind.

She thought that she had not done anything extraordinary or worthy of remembering her in her short life, nor had she had moments of great remembrance that she liked to remember, she also did not have great attributes to have better job and licensing opportunities.

To simply put it, she was a failure.

She always was.

She could not help feeling evicted, and useless.

"I think I have to reflect it a lot." She spoke thoughtfully, folding her eyebrows.

"Of course!" Kin-chan sang motivated. "Don't push yourself, Kotoko, all in time."

"Yes." She nodded.

* * *

In that, he left Kotoko at the bus stop where he took the last one of that day. What was not expected was the person she encountered while on the bus: Irie Naoki.

He was about to stand and get off, but as soon as he saw her enter, he returned to his place in one sitting.

Kotoko's heart froze, her hands trembled and her obvious body expression was enough to tell her that she was in complete panic. But, she saw it useless to get off the bus because it was late, and it was night.

In addition, she would be a coward if she got off the bus, so she chose to stay in the seat closest to the exit, ignoring the presence of Naoki, who clearly looked at her intensely.

Her heart was beating to the head with such intensity that she sensed that she would soon end up collapsing.

She laid her head on the back, rubbing her hands in order to calm her nerves in some way. Her bad luck couldn't go from bad to worse, because she was in the same place as Naoki and that same day she had rejected him.

What face should she put to deal with him?

The journey to the cafeteria was a heavy burden for her to bear, but she had to resist until she reached the stop.

She abandoned the gesture of rubbing her hands, preferring to see the clarification of the windows as they combined with the lights of the night in a blessed sway.

_At least I have something nice to see_, she thought.

In that, she felt a heat alien to her body bristling her skin. A hand lightly brushed the tips of his fingers.

She turned around, trembling.

"Kotoko." Naoki's soft, manly voice spoke to her, approaching her.

"I-Irie-kun?" She articulated, unable to process what was happening.

"I was going to look for you at your father's restaurant," He explained in his monotonous voice. "But it's good to have found you right here."

"Hm." She didn't want to tell him anything at the moment, she just allowed her mind to start flowing in ideas and thoughts that would get her out of such an awkward situation.

"Even though you rejected me," He began to say, "I won't give up so easily."

"What?" Kotoko exclaimed perplexed.

Naoki smiled sideways.

"I won't let you go, Kotoko," He declared, letting out a hand shake over his. "Even if you rejected me, I didn't lie when I told you that I liked you"

"Sorry?" She articulated surprised.

"I won't ask you for a chance," He warned with a hint of determination reflected in his inexpressive eyes. "Or your consent, I just want to let you know that"

Kotoko wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.

She felt that her heart was pounding in her head with such intensity that it would explode in any second, her mind was crackling and trembling with fear because things would not happen to her as she wanted.

Given the chance that they met on the same day twice, in different places, and that made her assume that it was a response to her bad luck, as it always happened.

She was sure that she wanted to stop loving him, to bury the pain he made her go through, the pain that consumed her so much that it left her naked in the blue streets. She wanted to let him go from this world.

What she was dictating that moment was exactly what she wanted to avoid: seeing him again.

"I don't want that," She protested stubbornly.

Naoki frowned, taken off guard.

"Sorry?"

"I don't want you to tell me things like that," She grumbled. "After everything you made me suffer for you, do you think you can come and tell me those things like nothing? You're crazy!"

He made a confused gesture, taking a seat next to her, not releasing her hand from his grip. As soon as he sat down, he became tense.

"I know I made you suffer," He muttered. "And I know I was an idiot with you, a complete idiot ... but, if I hadn't been one, I wouldn't have known you as you really are."

Kotoko nodded slightly, also pulling out her lower lip in a grimace of disgust.

"That doesn't justify what you did."

"I know," Naoki replied frustrated. "I know very well, Kotoko! I know how stupid I was with you, but you also had a lot to do with it"

"What?" She pursed her face.

"You made me feel this way," He confessed, putting a hand on his chest, squeezing his shirt tightly. "You turned my world upside down and then you decide to marry another, marry Ikezawa." Saying Kin-chan's name, he expressed it with disdain.

"When am I going to get married?" Kotoko asked completely confused.

Naoki stopped, looking surprised.

"Well, your friends told me you're going to marry Ikeza." He didn't dare say the name. "With him," He corrected stoic.

"I didn't tell you that I'm going to get married," She explained, open-mouthed. "I rejected Kin-chan."

"What?"

"That's the truth, Irie-kun," Kotoko said securely. "I'm not going to marry Kin-chan, or anyone."

"You, you won't marry anyone?" He asked, smiling hopefully.

"Not for now," She replied with her face blank.

"Then I have a chance," He murmured under his breath with some emotion reflected in his voice, holding Kotoko's hand gently and sweetly. "Kotoko," He snapped awkwardly.

She nodded, somewhat nervous with his sudden mood swings.

Who knows what wild thoughts Naoki should have at times like that?

Kotoko didn't want to be in the position of having to deal with Naoki on a daily basis when he put himself in that state, or in any other mood, because they were all conflicting and heavy.

All the moods she managed to see in Naoki were disastrous.

Not one humor state moved her.

"If it's not too much to ask," Naoki began, encouraged by the situation. "I would like you to come home, I mean, to mother and Yuuki, it will be a pleasure to see you, but also to me." He put both hands on hers, in a pleading air. "I'd be glad to see you every day, Kotoko." His eyes expressed the extreme urge to hug her, kiss her, and have her for him, but Kotoko was not in a position to accept him. "I'd like to go to school with you, do homework with you, and do everything with you…"

"Hm." She gasped in disgust.

"I want you to be mine," He confessed softly.

"Eh?!"

"What do you need me to do to get you back home?" He begged, putting pressure on her left hand, the one he caught in an oversight of her part. Kotoko lamented more and more what was happening in front of her. It was a disaster to see Naoki in that state. "What do you need me to do for you to come back to me?" His voice cut off at the end of the sentence.

"I don't need anything," She replied in disdain, freeing herself from Naoki's hand, whose grip seemed to dislike her greatly. "Irie-kun, you're going very fast with me, are you?"

"This is my speed," He said, recovering from her obvious rejection. "I won't force you to get used to my way of working, but I ask you not to fall in love with another man so fast, leave a space for me"

"A space for you?" Kotoko repeated with wide eyes. "What did you mean by that?"

"You can look at other men, Kotoko," He replied stoically. "But, you will not love anyone as much as you love me, you will not want anyone as much as you did with me, for that," he breathed, approaching her slowly and presencefully. "I'll be stealing your heart for the second time, and forever."

Kotoko's mind shouted in grave danger.

_This can't be happening to me!_

"I don't know what to tell you," She said, shrugging her shoulders. "But you don't deserve a chance, Irie-kun," She said, turning her head to another spot on the bus that lit her mind to say the right word. The word she longed to tell him since he told her he had compromised to Sahoko.

"I'm aware of that," He played with one strand of her coppery hair, but Kotoko turned to stop feeling the touch of his fingers running over her, to stop feeling his touch at a time like that. "But, I'm ready for everything"

_Narcissistic? No,_ she shook her head. _Egocentric?_ Indeed, he was like that.

What could be the word?

_Ah ..._ in a blink of an eye, she remembered that moment when Kin-chan tried to kiss her, during that time the events she lived with Naoki came to mind and there came what she wanted to say when he finally confessed her love for she.

"I always gave you a chance, Irie-kun," She said, breathing deeply. "But, you always used that opportunity to hurt me always" Her voice was hurt, as if a screw had been stuck in her larynx. "You despised my love, the things I did for you, the times I worried about your well-being, and ... you opened a wound that can't be healed …"

Naoki looked away, decayed.

"I don't know if it's right for me to say it, but" She stood up, because the bus had stopped on her way down. "I won't give you another chance," She said firmly, passing him by.

"Wait!" He took her wrist, alarmed.

"This is my stop." She let him know, stopped by his grip.

"I won't let you go, Kotoko." He made a stubborn gesture, as if he were a child. "Call me insane, but I won't let you go from me the way you want."

What was wrong with Naoki?

She had never seen him like this.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** An intense chapter indeed! I wanted to make it much more intense and with an appearance from Naoki.

We can see that Naoki wants Kotoko back, but she doesn't want to.

How was my approach on the matter?

I thought that it was going to be beneficial if Kotoko gave her much more value than she already has, and that she deserves better than Naoki, much more better.


	14. Chapter 14

**"I dyed my eyes blood color"**

Kotoko panicked at Naoki, who refused to release her from his firm grip. That action seemed like a dark fatalism. One that might not end well.

As soon as she heard that the bus doors threatened to close, she got out of Naoki's hand and jumped up the stairs, without even thanking the driver for her service in leaving her in her proper station.

However, Naoki was quick to reach her, to which she responded by running towards the cafeteria.

"Wait!" Naoki shouted urgently.

But, unfortunately, Naoki reached for her and took her by the wrist, obviously, without fracturing her with the rough jerking he exerted.

"Release me!" Kotoko objected, closing her eyes tightly.

"No," He refused, turning her toward him, so they stood facing each other. "Look at me when I talk to you, Kotoko," He demanded stubbornly.

Kotoko swallowed, clenching her teeth, because she was already too confused for those moments to have a decent dialogue with a person like Naoki.

"If what you fear is that I will hurt you again," Naoki said, shaking his head. "I won't do it again, I promise."

Promise that he wouldn't hurt her again? It seemed an unusual proposal, that not even in her most remote dreams did she imagine it tangible; but, there was a part of that "promise" that did not convince her at all, moreover, the future panorama caused her anguish.

"I don't want to hear you." She snorted, trying to get rid of Naoki's grip, who only exerted more force, unwilling to release her.

Naoki's penetrating gaze only served to make her tear up the helplessness caused by her absurd situation with the person she loved before, and now she wanted to stop loving him.

"I'm tired of you," She refuted, giving a last violent jolt, thus getting away from Naoki's grip. "If you allow me," She said, before emphasizing. "I'm going"

"I refuse to let you get out of my hands," Naoki declared, with a fervent attitude, making her stand on her resumed walk.

"What?"

"I refuse to let you go of my life, Kotoko," Naoki said. "It's a scary world where I have to live when you're not in it."

Kotoko was bewildered, her mouth slightly open, and her eyebrows furrowed.

Where had Naoki got that cheesy argument?

It seemed impossible to believe, but she must believe it because she was living it in flesh and blood. Right in front of your eyes!

Naoki's eyes expressed desire, an intense need to be heard, that his feelings were returned, but Kotoko had already lost her strength to try again.

For her, it was too late.

"I'm sorry." She apologized, lowering her head in reverence. "But I can't forgive you, Irie-kun, I'm really sorry." She lifted her head with dignity, trying to look mature in her appearance, even though inside she had a turbulence of conflicting emotions as far as Naoki was concerned.

"You don't convince me." Naoki refused to believe her, moving quickly toward her, from which she backed away, frowning.

"Your attitude does not convince me either," Kotoko replied, clenching her lips finely, and her jaw tense. "And I'm not interested in being with you"

"I don't believe you, Kotoko." He was close to reaching her.

"Believe what you want"

"Then I will believe that you will be my wife," he declared, having caught her hand, clinging to his direct contact. "And I will be your husband."

A sense of horror and disgust invaded Kotoko, also the stomach closed and suddenly felt heavy.

"I refuse to be your wife," She said angrily.

"And I refused to obey your absurd orders, Kotoko," Naoki said with an inexorable attitude. "Because I don't believe you at all"

"What?" Kotoko dropped the jawbone from her mouth, completely incredulous.

"You heard me," He said loudly. "I will not obey you."

He approached her, parting his wet lips, ready to kiss her.

"No! What are you doing?" Kotoko asked, moving away from him, but he refused to let her go. "Why don't you let go?" Her voice came out scratchy, a lump in her throat from the same rage.

"Because I love you!" He confessed with a frown. "Don't you understand?" He asked in a frustrated tone. "It's so desperate that you don't understand anything I'm telling you." He locked, looking annoyed at himself.

"Leave me, Irie-kun," She asked, tired of dealing with him.

"No." He tightened his grip, frowning more. "Why don't you understand, Kotoko?" He emerged in a voice. "What do I have to do for you to understand me?" He begged to know, something Kotoko didn't think he would do.

Never in her life did she believe that a man like Irie Naoki would beg for something for his life.

If someone like him begged almost on his knees for her compassion, then he was being serious.

Kotoko sighed, really tired of everything she had done that day that wasn't over yet.

"Irie-kun, if I understand you," She replied. Naoki looked up, raising his eyebrows.

"What?"

"I understand what you say, okay?" She opened her eyes, emphasizing each of the words she said. "But you understand me." She pointed at him. "I will not give you another chance, Irie-kun, I will not do it"

"Lies," He muttered under his breath, indisposed. "I don't want to believe it, it can't be true."

A part of Kotoko felt sad to see the always perfect genius Irie Naoki so sure of himself, now begging for an opportunity, for a part of her mercy to be able to forgive him.

In truth, he looked regretful for what he did, for the behaviors he had towards her, for the misuse of his words, for everything he did.

She sighed again, long and leisurely.

"Irie-kun" She spoke under her breath, no longer hearing herself upset with him.

He looked up, reflecting in his gaze, sad eyes and desperate to be heard.

"Convince me," She said persuasively, looking straight ahead.

"Huh?" He looked confused, clenching his lips.

"Convince me that what you say is serious." She persuaded him, frowning. "But." She lifted her finger with her free hand. "If you screw up once, there is no going back." She warned seriously, seeing how Naoki's features turned hopeful. "Is it clear to you?"

Naoki nodded, without a joke.

"Of course, Kotoko." He displayed sideway smile, it could be said triumphant "I won't let you down."

"With you I can't know,"She snapped, shaking her head.

"And with you less," He said ironically.

"Now, could you let me go?" Kotoko demanded, feeling the blood cut on her wrist and numb at every step of the minute.

"Oh, yes." He released her, taking his hand to the back of his neck. "I apologize if I took your wrist very hard, but I thought you would run again."

For real, Naoki was in love with her, there was no doubt that it was true; The problem with Kotoko was that she was too kind, besides she no longer felt the same about Naoki, more than pure resentment and pain.

Love.

In that she doubted him, since her heart was no longer beating hard when she had him in front of her that night, or when she was encouraged to give him another chance, so as not to hear him plead for longer.

For Kotoko, it was like dyeing blood in her hopes of being free on her own.

And that terrified her.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** A chapter update! We see that Naoki doesn't want to give up and Kotoko gives him a chance, to what she is terrified by doing it.

What would come next?


	15. Chapter 15

**"White noise"**

.

.

.

.

Having dyed her dreams blood-colored came close to the fact that she could not have the power to face herself when from the beginning she never did it as she should have.

Kotoko looked at the future with deafening panic, and her sense of resilience was high, how many barriers were placed before a single person who had been the cause of all her pain.

She released him, left him behind her former self and would not look back with resentment, but with maturity.

If winter paled, if spring died, if summer dried and if autumn weakened, she would remain firm in her decision.

Not for telling him that she gave him a chance, it meant she would love him again as before; Besides, it would be pathetic of her to fall so easily with the same idiot that broke her heart.

She broke away from talking with Naoki, who refused to let her go to the cafeteria, when she was tired of dealing with his annoying attitudes and supplications of a "man in love."

She set him aside and ran off to her new house.

For nothing in the world she would change the two people she met last night, for a moment alone with Naoki.

For nothing in the world…

* * *

Arriving at the cafeteria, she felt that her breath escaped her lungs when she did the things she had so boldly faced, and the eloquence with which she addressed people without hesitation as would the blind Kotoko in love for Naoki.

There, at that moment, she felt that the air was returning to her lungs as if the soul had reached her body after receiving a violent shake from her; however, she noticed that Keita's eyes fell on her with a wink of concern.

As soon as they looked at each other from a distance, he took the initiative to approach her, saying:

"I waited for you" He said coherently. "I mean, I didn't think it was wise to close the cafeteria when you still had to arrive."

Seeing that she didn't respond, he added somewhat awkwardly:

"I hope your visit to your father wasn't an impediment to your goals, but an opportunity to grow and mature, because I don't think it's right to give up so quickly." He finished with a slight nod according to his words.

Kotoko listened to him, but nevertheless, she began to cry having assimilated everything she lived that day and that was not yet over; Keita, flushed and alarmed, didn't know how to react so that the crying was not so scandalous, but chose to comfort her with one hand stroking her coppery hair gently in his touch.

"It doesn't matter what happened," he said softly. "What matters is what you want to do from now on, starting every morning when you open your eyes and the sun welcomes you with splendor." He smiled a little. "It may seem like the end of the world, but remember it's only the beginning," He said.

"Yes" she said, reassuring herself of the previous crying. "It's just that it has been a very long and tiring day for me."

"I think it has been the same for everyone who has lived with you" He said, removing his hand from Kotoko's hair. "Tomorrow will be a better day than today."

"I hope," She murmured under her breath, but Keita could hear her.

"Don't say, 'I hope'" He corrected. "Say 'it will be a great day'" He smiled motivated, infecting Kotoko in the same way.

"Do you think?" She looked at him expectorant.

"I don't think so," he huffed proudly. "I know"

Hanako approached them running, with bulging eyes.

"You're finally here!" She exclaimed in alarm, hugging Kotoko tightly, taking her by surprise.

"What-what happened?" She reacted, eyeing Keita.

"You were away for a long time," Hanako added, releasing her from the hug, leaving both hands on her shoulders. "You have to be hungry and you need to rest because tomorrow we will have a heavy day at work, ah!" She exclaimed as if remembering something. "You must go to university, you have a degree to attend and tasks with which you must be aware"

Kotoko had the alarm chip turned on when she remembered that she hadn't thought about the university, or options to ensure her future. An unprecedented future if she continued with the mediocre grades she maintained at school.

"You haven't thought about that, right?" Hanako guessed without complications what was going through her mind, causing Kotoko to look at her in amazement. "I imagined" She sighed, saying: "Today was a busy day for you, but don't give up, Aihara, tomorrow you will solve your problems with the university, because you should not put it aside, when is your future" She pointed her finger . "The future that only you can get"

"Exactly," Keita chanted, nodding. "The future should not be paused"

Hanako and Keita looked at each other in complicity, cheering Kotoko with a comforting smile, sweetening her night.

"You're right," She admitted with a relaxed sigh. "That's what I'll do tomorrow."

"Don't let that Naoki or whatever his name is" Hanako shook his head in denial. "Dictate your future when he didn't even know your likes and dislikes"

"If it's not too much to ask," Kotoko said after a brief silence. "Could you not talk about him? Please"

Both Hanako and Keita were surprised, blinking uneasily at her sudden change of attitude, as it was as if Kotoko had had a bad time on her return, and they weren't to assume it, since something big happened on Kotoko's return that same night.

An event that terrified Kotoko.

"As you like," Keita muttered tiredly.

"Thank you." Kotoko pursed her lips after giving her answer, heading to the second floor and sleeping as soon as possible, leaving her two companions with gestures of question marks grounded in her worried looks that followed her until she lost sight of her.

* * *

Kotoko woke up that morning at the moment when the warm rays of the sun crossed the threshold of the window, crossing the delicate fabrics of the curtains.

Her eyes blinked, releasing a slight yawn.

It seemed that the day would treat her well, as she wanted, and just as Keita told her last night.

_Today seems to be a great day_, she told herself screeching with joy.

She took a refreshing shower, had breakfast with the other employees who opened the place first thing in the morning, and cleaned the cafeteria tables shortly before opening the doors and putting up the sign indicating that it was open.

Yes, today it seemed like it would be a good day for Aihara Kotoko, who after having gone through eternal suffering, began to seek her own light on a path that was once surrounded by pure darkness.

It was as if the white noise moved away from her ears, and the fog moved away from her cloudy view and they set off to a remote place because their joy was first.

Joy was the top priority for her.

A priority that in broad strokes it would reach, regardless of the cost it gave or the time it would be achieved because she had already decided since arriving the night before the cafeteria.

No more 'Irie-kun' in her absurd thoughts, no more love letters they later rejected, no more tears shed by a mean and ruthless man for her own good.

Why did she push him away now that he had confessed to her?

Because if happiness led to marrying Naoki (equivalent to being humiliated, insulted, underestimated, abused, etc.), then that was not the happiness she needed.

Naoki would be that white noise she didn't want to hear, that white noise that ignited an alarm in her head with the sole purpose of moving her away from him, away from his selfishness.

She was nothing more than a tool to fill Naoki's ego.

.

.

.

.

**P.S. **A strong chapter and I apologize if it isn't what you expected since I took this turn to see where it takes me.

Remember this isn't the last chapter, so everything could change.


	16. Chapter 16

**"Guide me through the sweet light"**

.

.

.

.

While Kotoko watched the starry night in incandescent stars that clinked form the thousands of kilometers that took her away; of course, she was delighted in the wonders that nature offered her for free, being her faithful companions on the journey she had taken since her birth.

The stars hugged her warmly, laking pale bribes that society conjectured about her person, creating rumors about her that were not true.

Always mocking her. Not only Naoki, but everyone, except her father.

Always underestimating her abilities towards her person and the guideline she wanted to undertake in her life, and as if that weren't enough, she didn't end up achieving it due to her lack of initiative because of a scarce crush on a life without precious desires to grow independently.

The stars lit her retinas, as if thought them she found the answers to all her questions.

The fierce galaxies led her way, at least she wanted to believe for now; fortunately, she felt that the emptiness that was broken in her chest stopped growing as she used to do in the past.

The senses woke up, beginning to react to various stimuli by the incandescences of the universe planted in an eternal night. A night that would be recorded in her brain, just in case she got lost in the road.

There she was, even when the night threatened to be cold, causing a slight chill in her, since she didn't wear a jacket with her to keep her warm; However, every wind echo, every second she spent sitting on that bench, alone, was smiling.

Her classic smile wasn't erased from her childish face.

And sometimes she swore that the sky gave her the same smile that she herself gave them in wide gratitude for always accompanying her at every moment and in every inspiration she exercised when she woke up every morning and when she fell asleep at night.

The stars revolved around the demands imposed by the sun, where the heat that her chest produced when that happiness felt her present in her being came.

And when she decided to release that heavy load she carried with the name of "Irie Naoki", her chest was lightened from all the torment that imprisoned her and prevented her from advancing like other people who didn't stop because of the other's laments.

That is why, her smile emerged from her lips with benevolence.

There were no more reasons to look at the past with resentment ...

It had been two months since she set out to forget Naoki, and she met her friends Hanako and Keita in the "Akemi" cafeteria.

Since then, Kotoko enrolled at a local gym near the university; also, she continued in the same degree of literature and began to take the grades seriously so her grades went up and she realized that she was not really the fool that everyone said she was, but that she was worth much more than she thought.

As for Naoki, he canceled his union with Sahoko to try to gain her trust again, but that was only mere excuses to fill her patience, so she was forced to take other measures for her safety and mental health; one of them was to change her shift at the university, putting her morning classes in the afternoon.

At first it worked, but he quickly catch up to her and she had to go back to the previous schedule, attending morning classes.

She never believed that the day would come where she would hate to see Naoki almost every day in the medical faculty, where she necessarily had to go there to get to her faculty building. How angry it was to see him in the morning with his white coat and his typical frown and air of indifference surrounding him.

She never thought she would react to him that way.

* * *

A day like any other in November, Kotoko arrived at the cafeteria at eight o'clock because she stayed in the library to study for her last exams of the semester

"I'm back" She announced at the entrance, letting out a yawn.

"Welcome" Keita congratulated her, accompanied by a small smile.

Kotoko used to like to receive Keita's greetings, especially when he was the first to do so.

For those extremes, it was normal to be the first thing her eyes were looking for when she arrived at the cafeteria in the afternoon, or in this case, at night.

"How was school?" He asked, bringing him a cup of hot chamomile tea with a spoonful of honey.

"Well, thanks." She stirred the liquid contents of the cup with the spoon, plunging her eyes into the circle of liquid. "And you?"

"A lot of homework." He complained a little. "But everything perfect" he said pleased. "Kotoko, are you hungry?" He asked after a brief silence when Kotoko took a big sip of tea.

She nodded.

"Very hungry!"

"Good." A smile appeared on Keita's lips, gleaming. "I'll bring you something from the kitchen."

"Ah! Kotoko welcome" Hanako greeted her, looking busy.

Kotoko, seeing her, nodded gladly.

"Hanako"

"We've had a lot of work today." Hanako let out a yawn, resting her forearms on the bar. Hanako wore a light blue retro dress with a yellow rubber belt, and elongated olive green stockings, accompanied by black ankle boots.

"It's almost closing time," Kotoko commented, stretching her legs in the seat.

"Fortunately!" Hanako sang in relief. " The customers haven't stopped raining wherever I see." She opened her eyes in a wide range.

Kotoko gave a mischievous giggle covering her mouth with her hand so she wouldn't look so obvious.

"But good" Hanako sighed in a grimace of tiredness. "How are the classes going? For what you told me, you are already in the final exams"

"Yes." Kotoko smiled motivated. "If everything goes well, my average will have increased considerably during this period"

"I like that" She approved. "It means you've learned to put your priorities first, instead of prioritizing the unmentionable."

(When they said "unmentionable" they meant Naoki)

"Kotoko" Keita came from the kitchen with a plate of food just for her, which, she was pleased to feel taken into account by the student nurse. "Here you have a lentil soup with chopped vegetables, and a ham sandwich with gruyere cheese."

She looked wonderfully at what her dinner would be.

"Thank you Keita!" Kotoko thanked, smiling at him.

He nodded, averting his eyes, since his cheeks blushed slightly as he received those sudden smiles that caught him off guard.

"Yes, it was nothing" He muttered, taking a seat next to him. "Eat everything you want"

"Hm" By that time, she already had the sandwich mouth full.

"I'm glad you're better than before," Keita said, relieved. "I personally never thought that my help would be of great benefit to a person, but now I see it as something possible," He said gratefully. "And you've done everything alone, I haven't even intervened since then."

Kotoko looked at him sideways, listening carefully to his words, indicating that he could continue.

"I am very impressed by what a person full of will can achieve." He sighed, letting his head turn to the ceiling, then remain in the same position. "I mean, you know you have my unconditional support, from that meeting we had, until after today."

Kotoko, moved, passed the food and faced him, saying:

"Thank you, Keita." She smiled confidently. "You have my equal support"

"It's nice to know" He said, watching her closely.

"I like it too" She replied. "Knowing what I could do in two months"

"You deserve it" He admitted comfortingly. "You deserve all happiness after having gone through painful moments because of a nobody"

Seeing that Kotoko made a face of disgust upon hearing that comment, he corrected: "But, you mustn't listen to me, you better pay attention to your own intuition that has been your guide during these two months "

"Yes" She chanted, changing her disgusted countenance to a relaxed one.

"Well" He rose from his chair. "I'll go clean the tables in the back" He warned, as if he didn't want to leave her eating alone, but as an employee there, he had to attend the place as appropriate.

Kotoko, with no other choice, turned her full attention to the food she still had to finish.

Life for her was on the right track.

.

.

.

.

**P.S. **This is where the plot begins to advance for real, Kotoko's growth is radical, but essential, we will see what happens in her life from now on.


	17. Chapter 17

**"The imminent talk"**

.

.

.

.

Kotoko was in the final exams, studying and trying her best to pass with better grades than the previous times that ended in disastrous results for her self-esteem.

Being effective at work without doing your best, was equivalent to not being an effective person in every sense of the word; At least that was what Kotoko believed for those extremes.

Being a good student did not happen overnight, but was a strenuous job that implied perseverance and dedication on your part. Nothing and no one would take him away from finding his own place in the path of literature even though at the beginning it was not a career that gave him satisfaction and feelings of joy, but nevertheless, with the recent semester, literature was soon becoming an area of Your interest, and therefore, to your liking.

Soon the holidays would arrive and finally there would be a well-deserved rest after so much effort and dedication to the school, where by good fortune the rewards began to be visible. It was all worth it.

Kotoko smiled every time she delivered a job well done, and the professor praised her in surprise at her hidden talent for writing writings; In itself, it was an amazing feeling for her.

Just if she began to see the fruits of her work, some already noticed her writing talent for others, although at first she did not believe it possible, now that the professors often told her, she already believed it real.

What her teachers didn't know about Kotoko, was very simple; they didn't know that she was not a person who always received praise in her work and homework, nor was she congratulated for taking excellent exam grades, and being so, they didn't know the story behind the engine of her effort.

That which drove her to be better.

And that was a secret that didn't deserve to be told.

* * *

Those two months were refreshing, like a gentle breeze caressing her face on a cold morning. However, seeing it with those eyes didn't imply being out of negative stimuli that bombarded it every so often.

The bad comments that Matsumoto threw at her remained almost intact, although her insults had diminished, she was not exempt from hearing them at least once a week.

Sudou treated her well, they saw each other frequently in college and talked quite often, because for her, he was a good guy and made him laugh, thus forgetting the stress of performing perfectly in school.

Everything circulated well, for a long time and flying over positive energy, but there was always the imminent possibility of a problem getting in her way, like a stone, or rather, a rock falling from a mountain until it was stamped with your face.

On one of those days, Naoki approached her when she had left the cafeteria to take a seat on one of the benches in the public park that was relatively close.

About two blocks, maybe.

Naoki looked just as attractive as she remembered. His gray eyes still maintained that intense adjective that characterized him, his serious and authoritative voice, his great aristocratic bearing over his eager attitude wasted with his excessive particularity that was called "pride."

That pride that always surrounded him and was for others, a defect in his person, far from being considered a quality.

"Kotoko" He said in his low voice, exalting her from her quiet night walk.

"What do you want?" She replied, recovering from the fright.

He saw her intensely, a vague hope that he would let her be alone for as long as she wanted.

"Can I know why you have been evading me?" He demanded to know, approaching her in a demanding attitude. Kotoko stepped back, feeling threatened with his approach.

"Sorry?"

"Don't pretend you haven't been doing it" He said bothered.

With what right was he offended?

"You go through medical school" He explained irritably. "And when I'm going to get close, you walk faster, moving away. What the hell is that?"

_That's what he meant,_ Kotoko thought,_ Irie-kun doesn't like to be ignored._

"Nothing." She played, releasing a simple selfless snort; irritating his former love more.

She was having fun doing that.

"Since when are you like that?" He was exasperated, as expected.

"Like what?" She challenged him with her eyes, raising her chin slightly.

"So indifferent to me," he simplified, wrinkling his eyebrows. "It's annoying that you don't let me approach you, Kotoko, you weren't like that before."

"I know." She responded immediately in a defiant tone.

Naoki looked at her incredulously, opening his mouth a little, without expecting her attitude.

"Come back to the one before" He asked, pointing at her "The Kotoko that I know is not like that, she is different"

A chill struck her mind, remembering the ancient Kotoko that surrendered to him, at his cold will and allowed herself to be mistreated excessively by his tricks. Kotoko hated her old self, she also hated to be the same as before.

The innocent girl who was to live bad luck.

"You mean you just noticed me for being a fool?" She supposed.

"No…" He doubted.

If he doubted it meant that perhaps her assumption was correct. Kotoko would keep trying until she got to the point.

"If I change, will you treat me well?"

"What?" He made a harassed gesture.

Kotoko smiled sideways; She was liking doing that with him.

"If I go home, would you be happy?" She figured a mischievous smile, even daring to cross her arms, stepping forward.

"Of course" He replied pleased. "I'd love to have you back home; but" He stopped "Can I know why you are asking me so many questions? "

"For no reason." She pretended not to know. "It's just pure curiosity, nothing more."

"Well, if it works for you to understand me" He said nodding. "Then it's okay"

Kotoko clicked her tongue.

"What was the Kotoko from before?" She tried in a playful gesture.

Naoki stopped a few seconds, to say:

"The Kotoko from before was very scandalous" He began in a gesture of remembering her. "She always followed me and chased me wherever I went, her notes are also fatal, she was innocent, she was very attentive to me and she never ignored me." The 'she never ignored me',he emphasized, creating a tense atmosphere between the two.

Kotoko was beginning to understand the complexity of the situation, that complexity that made up the supposed love Naoki felt for her; it consisted of a dependency, and that same one bordering it to look for it again, because this dependence gave him security and a feeling of calmness, something that now he sought to obtain again.

She was already understanding everything little by little, and in doing so, she felt intrigue and some fear. They were normal feelings.

"I understand" She sighed resignedly.

"What did you understand?" Naoki asked, puzzled, a dose of fear was perceived in his tone. She raised an eyebrow. "Kotoko?"

"I'm just saying that I understood what you meant" She said simply.

"So" He supposed somewhat pleased. "Will you return with us?"

"I didn't say that" She replied, shaking her head in denial. "I just need to remember the past to know that returning with you is not an option that is in mind, on the contrary, I am seeking independence and obtaining an exchange grant to improve my studies"

"What?" Naoki snapped incredulously. "Why do you want to go? And what about Oji-san?"

"Don't put my father in this" She warned with a frown; it was annoying that he got her father into matters that needed resolution between them, and no one should interfere in that.

The genius blinked.

"But, are you going to leave everything to go?" He kept trying to tie up ends. "I don't understand anything, Kotoko" He expressed frustrated. "What am I supposed to do? I ... I don't know what to do anymore"

"That's not up to me to tell you" Kotoko said, feeling for the first time, that she had control of the situation, and it wasn't the other way around. Was this what Naoki felt when he humiliated her? This feeling let's say, of triumph?

"What made you become this way, Kotoko?" He questioned defeated.

"You" She responded by inertia. "You taught me how to be like this"

"Kotoko" He pronounced unpleasant. In his eyes, she could see, the clear reflection of the confusion, of not knowing how to act from now on, the bewilderment of the future and its other events.

_So now you feel the sensation of not knowing what follows next, right?_ She thought about him, _you know what I went through you and everything that supports so that you will love me too._

"I gave you many opportunities, Irie-kun" She pointed out. "Many! But I don't have the patience to wait for you a lifetime to love me back"

"But I love you"

"You haven't understood anything" She rebuked hurt. "You don't know what it is to feel humiliated by the person you love, or that he rejects you again and again and again until you no longer have the strength to continue, but you always want to believe that there is a light on the road, a drop of hope that makes you want to keep doing it, to follow behind that person because at some point he will turn around and finally see you"

"Yes, I know what it is like to feel that way" He complained. "You've rejected me many times since I chase you and evade me." He stepped forward, shaking his arm to the side. "You're not as mature as you think, Kotoko, for me you're still the same girl who gave me that letter in high school and that I cruelly pushed aside due to my pride"

"Do you imply that I have not matured?" She said back, paying him with the same coin as him.

"I can't be clearer" He snorted grumbling. "And what do you say, Kotoko? Stop thinking about it and tell me yes, I know you still feel things for me."

Kotoko felt the blood boil to her gut, bubbling in full effervescence screaming for bursting.

He hinted that she hadn't matured?

She no longer lay down on the ground to crawl through him, she had already abandoned that quality in her person. If that was how Naoki saw her, then it made no sense to forgive him after all, it made no sense to have loved him for so long, for her mere existence was not worth enough for him.

She simply had the courage of a silly girl for him, the one with the bad luck.

.

.

.

.

**P.D.** A new chapter finally published and made. Sorry it took me some time, but please enjoy it.


	18. Chapter 18

**"Leave me alone"**

.

.

.

.

.

"I refuse" She stated without regretting it. Naoki's surprised eyes were caught by her.

"W-what?"

"I'm not your toy so you can manipulate it as you wish!" She refuted, crossing her arms. "You don't play with me again, Irie-kun!" She raised her chin, frowning.

"Kotoko, stop pretending" He scolded her, grabbing her wrist with his hand in a jerk. "I know very well that you love me"

_Why does he always have to bother me?_

_What is his desire to do it?_

"Leave me alone!" She raised her voice, letting go of his grasp; her flushed face burned with anger. "You always make fun of me, but not this time" She pointed out, taking small steps back in his defense. "It's not fair what you do with me since we met, and you know one thing? I shouldn't never have given you that letter!"

"Kotoko" He petrified with bulging eyes.

"I already know very well who you are" She said, driven by emotion, by all the previous humiliation. "And I don't want it to keep happening as long as I live"

"Are you implying that you can be perfectly fine without me?" He asked.

"Of course" She replied.

"Stop lying, Kotoko" Naoki scolded her, his face expressing a mixture of anger and sadness. "You have always been a bad liar, you don't even believe your own lies"

Kotoko winced indignantly, taking a few steps back from him, tired of dealing with him like that, after so much effort to put him aside, he endured with that proud and selfish attitude on her part, which she now hated to witness.

Before perhaps, she would have forgiven him for that attitude, however, each one has to live with what one deserves, and that Naoki was paying for all his tasks.

Everything you give ends up coming back.

And of course, she didn't lie when she told him that she could be without him, because she had already tried it by living two months in the company of Kazuki in her restaurant and by raising her average on her own. Of course she could, it was a matter of dedicating a lot of time to her studies and proposing it for herself and not for anyone else, because those achievements were hers and only hers; In addition, Keita's support for her gave her great security and comforted her sincere words full of warmth and kindness.

Naoki never said those words to her, not once.

"They are not lies" She clarified determinedly. "I may have lied in the past, but I'm not lying when I tell you that I can be without you, Irie-kun" She breathed, letting out: "I can be without you!" She felt his face burn in flames, how blazing blizzards of summer heat land him on her cheeks and hazel eyes.

"Well, I don't " Naoki replied, stunned.

"Then learn" Kotoko muttered, turning around and retreating to the cafeteria with her head held high. "Goodbye, Irie-kun, see you later" She said like a queen.

"Wait!" Naoki ordered, looking at a disadvantage, but Kotoko was already finishing leaving his proximity.

She didn't supposed to be patient enough the next time they saw each other again, _probably tomorrow_, she reminded herself with disgust; She shook her head quickly and then her shoulders, embarrassed that she had to be strong, even though she was very tired from her studies.

For now, she had already learned to be alone, in the sense of independence, that is, she learned to detach herself from what had her tied hands and unfortunately, also, tied head and thoughts of her own.

Kotoko had realized that having thoughts of her own wasn't harmful to her mental state, since they helped her to reflect on the elementary issues that led her to focus on her main priorities, which were: Be a good student, forget about Naoki, and get to know other places in the world.

They were complex priorities, not easy to achieve, more than if she was correct in discerning and differing in terms of time for each of her goals. At least until the present time, she had managed to increase her school average and both she and her friends and her father were proud of her.

Her goals, fortunately, hadn't changed from being accurate, or a mixture of uncertainties disguised as a bad streak, but were guided by a good background and were not stopped by other forces outside to stop.

Kotoko was finally getting them to leave her alone.

* * *

She was glad when she entered the cafeteria at night and was greeted by the decanting smell of coffee that pleased her, and after being greeted by the friendly smiles of Keita, who always caused her to feel in the revolving stomach of several butterflies crowding in that little space.

She didn't know how to distinguish that sensation that was coming to her every time her eyes fixed on Keita's smiles, that moment was very strange to discern it between her memories, and the mere fact of seeing him, like that night when fatigue took over her invoice, she received him with great enthusiasm.

"Welcome, Kotoko" Keita greeted her, giving her a polite but sincere smile.

She nodded, trying to return the smile.

"Hello Keita"

He raised an eyebrow, immediately worrying about her exhausted appearance.

"Did you have a heavy day?" He questioned, taking a step toward her, who nodded, heading to the cafeteria bar seat, dropping into the chair, exhausted. "Shall I offer you a cup of coffee or do you want tea?" He offered respectfully.

"Tea, please, Keita" Kotoko said, giving him a grateful look.

"I'll bring it to you right away." He went to the kitchen.

At those moments the stress and tension that she felt when she had been forced to deal with Naoki gradually dissipated from her system, in a way, she knew that they would meet again, because life was like this: sometimes cruel, sometimes gentle times.

Kotoko didn't see it as a misfortune, or a brazenness on the part of what conspired against him, but rather, seeing situations as signs of opportunity, led to a great effort in the aspect of not letting himself be ignored by the bad streaks that it carried the universe. After all, she suffered for love for six years, no wonder things got a little complicated for her.

If everyone changed, why didn't she?

And changing wasn't so bad, after all, on the contrary, it was a blessing for Kotoko, the fact that she decided to change her ways of life, for ones of better emotional quality.

Furthermore, suffering for love was far from being a beneficent reality for her; Although she did continue to believe in love, since that was her main engines since childhood, she was aware that crawling like a worm to get a man's attention was not, in itself, love, but a sick obsession.

"Here you go." The cup of steaming tea appearing before her eyes, she was brought out of her musings.

"Ah, thanks" She said recovering herself.

"You were very thoughtful" Keita commented, daring to take a seat next to her, placing the waiter tray on the bar. "Sorry if I interrupted you"

"What? You didn't" She replied, turning to see him, not paying attention to the cup of tea. "This, well, I wasn't thinking much." _Why am I so nervous?_ She thought, indeed, nervous and blushing at the thought.

"Do you want to tell me?" He suggested gently, resting his forearm on the bar. "Maybe if you talk to a friend, you feel better"

She gave the impression that she wasn't happy with the mention of "friend", curiously, she was disappointed with that label that Keita imposed on himself. She certainly didn't know where those devious desires came from, flowing in her mind, but they were real desires, that is, something that was happening in his head without being banal signs that emerged without reason.

"Or maybe not" He added, seeing that she didn't respond.

"Sorry, Keita!" She excused herself, embarrassed. "They weren't matters that he intended to hide, it was just that I was pondering that and" She blushed, lowering her gaze.

"Ah I see" Keita said, settling into the chair. "Then can you tell me or you better keep it to yourself until you find a solution?"

Solution? Is there perhaps a solution? Yes there was, but what exactly was that solution that lingered so long in her head and didn't bring it up? Was it just that she was just meditating on her that an internal conflict caused her simply speaking out loud? They are probably how she thought things were.

She didn't know why or how she knew a solution, but in the meantime, she wouldn't reveal it to anyone until she had clearly ordered it in her mind.

"I'll think of it on my own first" She clarified, taking the still-steaming cup of tea and taking a big sip, feeling the hot liquid soften her throat slowly.

"I understand" Keita assured, glancing at her. "Take all the time you need to think about everything that has you distressed" He gave her a sideways smile, comforting. "That's part of the growth you've had these two months and I hope it continues to be positive for you, Kotoko"

This pleased Kotoko, who minutes ago was disappointed that he labeled himself "friend" of hers, when she didn't exactly see him as a friend.

Without anticipating it better, she didn't know with what eyes she observed him from now on.

She blushed from doubting it secretly, for being something so foreign and new to her.

Fortunately, though, she had forgotten what had happened with Naoki, and that meant a positive change for her.

.

.

.

.

.

**P.S.** A new chapter here, finally written.

Hope that you liked it and I appreciated if you leave a comment.


End file.
